Is advice for fat sex any different from tips for thin sex? It can be, and these tips can give you some empowering and pleasurable ways to have sex as a fat person.

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Fat women are subjugated to so much insult, harassment, discrimination, abuse, and dehumanization. Sometimes, it feels as if there is no escape from fat hatred and oppression — even when it’s carefully masked as a compliment. Check out this video to learn just how problematic fatphobic pseudo-compliments, like “You have a pretty face,” are to fat women.

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Fatphobia in so many ways is about hating and policing women and our bodies, but what I’ve realized recently is that the fatphobia that fat men experience is also a result of misogyny. I have found many themes that pointed to fatphobia toward men, at its roots, being about anxiety that men were becoming woman-like. Ultimately, I believe that the treatment of fat men is a feminist issue.

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So much of what we find attractive is determined by the media we consume. This media has presented a very particular definition of beauty, part of which is thinness. So how do we, as body-positive feminists, move past this generalized and restrictive definition of beauty and start to find the beauty in fat? Watch Golda Poretsky present some helpful hints and tips for beginning this process!

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For 24 years, Golda tried every diet imaginable until she realized she could make a different choice — accepting her body and treating it well — and has since dedicated herself to helping others take the same journey. In this TEDxTalk, Golda Poretsky busts myths about the relationship between weight and health and to prove, based on research, that health (and body-love) comes in every size.

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Lots of folks think fat-shaming is perfectly acceptable. More than that, lots of folks think fat-shaming is actually a good thing, because with shame as a motivator, perhaps those darn fat people will stop being so fat. It doesn’t work, though — shame is not a catalyst for change. It is a paralytic. Anyone who has ever carried extreme personal shame knows this.

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I’ve spent a lot of time and effort removing myself from body disparagement zones and have gotten comfortable with the idea that people can look like anything and it’s all good. Until I am reminded how many people out there live in a state of perpetual self-denial, self-denigration, and self-destruction just because of their fat. It is to those fat girls and to all of us who need a refresher course in body acceptance that I offer these Ten Rules.

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As a fat person, I am often surrounded by people, messages, and media that work to ensure that I know that being fat is (supposedly) not okay. There are many ways that fat individuals try to manage living in the hostile environment, but I want to suggest doing something a little radical: coming out as fat. Here are some places to start.

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Not only do I have to deal with the crippling dysphoria that comes from having a body that I often don’t even recognize as my own, I also have to deal with the cultural misogyny that tells me that a woman can’t be as fat as I am and still be desirable. I have to navigate this world where people either feel like my fatness is somehow hurting them or exists only to feed their fetish. And it sucks.

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We’re told everyday that fat is unhealthy and dieting is healthy. Often people who say “fat is bad” do so from a place of alleged concern. But this is called concern trolling – worrying about someone health and weight in a way that says they can’t be trusted to make decisions about their own bodies. It also reinforces ideas about fat that are untrue. So I’d like to present you with some facts here to debunk these myths.

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Sometimes I get asked, ‘How do I approach a fat girl?’ Just like ANY other woman! We’re real people with real personalities and feelings, like anyone else – except as fat women, we spend a lot of our lives being treated differently, usually not in a good way. This includes when people try to date us. So here are some tips to help you respectfully approach and date larger women.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the assumptions people make about living in a fat body. I want to break some of those erroneous assumptions about living in a fat body down. I want to talk about how it feels to live in a fat body.

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