For 24 years, Golda tried every diet imaginable until she realized she could make a different choice — accepting her body and treating it well — and has since dedicated herself to helping others take the same journey. In this TEDxTalk, Golda Poretsky busts myths about the relationship between weight and health and to prove, based on research, that health (and body-love) comes in every size.

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I can’t think of an instance where someone (a client, a friend, myself) hated something into changing. Not one. Single. Instance. It doesn’t create change. If anything, it only creates more stress. If you really want to change a habit, or a situation, or how you feel about yourself, the only route that will bring you any peace is to start with acceptance.

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The premise is that women are their own worst enemies, focusing on their worst physical qualities. A sketch artist draws them based on their descriptions, then redraws them based on the description of others. When they see the side-by-side comparison, they realize that they’re more beautiful than they thought. That may sound inspiring, but it doesn’t work for a number of reasons. Here are five.

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You’ve been taught, over and over again, that people’s opinions of you matter. You’ve been taught that if someone thinks you’re too fat, or too loud, or too smart, or too dumb, or too whatever, or not enough whatever, that they get to have a say in how you feel about yourself. But today I’d like to introduce you to the deep spiritual practice of not giving a shit.

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