Some believe that since gay men do not want to be sexually intimate with women, our uninvited touching and groping is benign. In a culture that doesn’t see gay men as “men”, our sexist acts are instead read as “diva worship” or “celebrating women” even when they are acts of objectification, assault, and dehumanization. We must question these assumptions in ourselves and in our communities.

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Male socialization runs so deep through our veins. For many, the shame of not having money, the shame of not being able to provide, collapses upon every other facet of our lives. Few of us speak the shame. Few of us hold the shame, look at it, and let it be within us but not of us. Few of us know how.

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