What Gender and Transgender Pronouns Do You Prefer?
Kat Blaque (artist/animator/YouTuber): I go be she, her, and hers pronouns. That’s just how it’s been for me.
Buck Angel (filmmaker/LGBTQIA+ advocate): My pronoun is he, and I present as a he. Some trans people might look like me and present as a she.
Kate Bornstein (author/performer/advocate): Recently I’ve come across they, and I like they. You can refer to me either as she or they.
Ian Harvie (actor/comedian): I like to be referred to as many things. It’s really about what sort of feels good to our ears when we hear it.
Why Is Using the Correct Pronoun Important?
Kate Bornstein: Pronouns are important because they indicate a degree of respect. Who doesn’t want to be respected?
Ian Harvie: For a long time a lot of people have felt that they don’t fit into the mold of primarily he or primarily she, or maybe they feel they’re a blend of both and that there’s not really a word for that.
Kate Bornstein: I found out about gender nonspecific pronouns ze and hir, and I thought that was funny. That makes people trip up, because really, technically I’m not a she. I’m not a he either.
Kat Blaque: There are some situations where we really put way too much stock into whether or not somebody is a man or a woman. There’s a lot of situations that we don’t need to necessarily have gendered language.
What’s the Best Way to Learn Someone’s Pronoun?
Kat Blaque: If you’re unsure about somebody’s pronoun, pull them aside and ask “Hey, what are your pronouns?”
Ian Harvie: It’s not even preferred pronoun, because it is their pronoun.
Buck Angel: Some people go by he, some people go by she, some people actually use the pronoun they.
Ian Harvie: You can avoid mistakes by saying them, theirs, they.
Kat Blaque: Their gender is still valid regardless of whether or not you understand it.
What Does Misgendering Feel Like?
Kate Bornstein: Misgendering a person by using an incorrect pronoun is an act of disrespect.
Ian Harvie: Everybody else in the world out there can say “I am” and they identify themselves, and everybody believes them. But when I say “I am ____,” I just don’t know why people don’t believe us.
