Long hair, turquoise athletic shorts, shaved legs. I sound like a girl, right? I’m not. Why? Because I don’t identify as one. And although it really is as simple as that, I understand where some people have trouble: “If you express yourself in this way,” they wonder, “then doesn’t that imply that that is how you identify?” But the truth is, well, no.

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Professionalism is a funny term. It masquerades as neutral, despite being loaded with immense oppression. For years, professionalism has been my enemy because it requires that my gender identity is constantly and unrepentantly erased. But I finally realized something: As transgender, genderqueer, and gender non-conforming people, we deserve better.

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There are three parties in a relationship: you, your partner, and the relationship itself. You have to take care of yourself first and make sure you are truly happy in order to flourish with a partner. Relationships ought to bring benefit to you. Here are some ways to make sure you take responsibility for maintaining yourself and your relationship.

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My mother would never call herself a feminist, even though she is the embodiment of a feminist. As a Hispanic woman, she did not believe that the traditional, Western, view of feminism related to her. But from her, I learned that valuing your heritage doesn’t take away from being a strong, independent, self-sufficient woman or stop you from addressing gender issues in your community.

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Rape is portrayed as something cis men do to cis women. This myth ignores the stories of too many survivors and protects their perpetrators who don’t identify as such. If we want to fight rape culture and advocate for all survivors, we have to stop gendering rape and upholding stereotypes. This infographic reminds us to support ALL survivors and hold ALL perpetrators accountable.

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General society would have us believe that gender (and sexuality, and romantic attraction, and countless other identifiers) exist within a binary system. But the reality is that identity is much more complicated than that. And the concept of multidimensional spectra can be overwhelming. Check out this video for an introduction into the spectra of identity!

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We must get in touch with our cultural heritage to understand our stake in ending White Supremacy through a connection to what we lost, but we also have to understand and remain accountable to the privileges that Whiteness affords us every day. In some ways, this is a complex tension to hold. Because while not all White people are bad, Whiteness surely is.

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Trans people have to put up with a lot of crap from straight cis people: everything from people being offended to find out that the person they found attractive is “actually a man,” to asking invasive personal questions about a trans person’s genitalia. Check out this spoken word poem by J Mase III that pokes fun at these entitled attitudes.

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Many people are initially confused or ashamed when they realize that they don’t fit into their prescribed gender box, and may also feel depressed as they struggle to be their true selves. Most likely, your family will share these difficult feelings as well. You and your loved ones are about to embark on a lifelong journey, and you must prepare them.

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