How can I pick what to watch without feeling like I’m condoning all of the sexist hoopla draped all over the majority of videos I might choose? Masturbation isn’t supposed to be this morally fraught, right? If it’s such a hassle, you might say, why not forgo the pornography parade altogether? It’s pretty simple: I like porn. The porn industry, on the other hand, is a whole different beast.

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Girls are often raised more conservatively and are socially conditioned to set limitations on sexual activity. And if the movie industry is an extension of our world, you can expect it to be just as sexist and patriarchal. But you don’t have to accept it. When we write our stories and demand to see them portrayed, we redefine what is normal. Redefining normal is easier than you think.

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Jenna Marbles posted a video expressing her opinions about women who she referred to as “sluts.” In a response to this, popular vlogger Hayley Hoover explains how the video could negatively affect Jenna’s audience of primarily young women. Watch Hayley explain how setting up a dichotomy between “sluts” and “regular girls” leads to rape, and the internalization of blame on the part of rape victims.

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Some time in between high school and college, I realized something about myself: I wasn’t sexually attracted to anyone. I thought there must be something wrong with me. It didn’t even occur to me that there was a sexual orientation that defined me, or that there were other people out there like me who didn’t see relationships with people through a sexual lens.

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