Becoming a mother is not easy and society doesn’t make it any easier. There’s constant pressure on mothers to be sure they are doing everything “perfect” to raise their children or else they’re be screwed up. And that fear can seriously mess up your ability to figure out what your child and you, as a mother, need.

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Many of us have been conditioned to see vaginas (even our own!) as something shameful, only to be talked about when “appropriate.” This perpetuation of silence and shame can make some people uncomfortable about going to the gynecologist, even though it’s an important part of staying healthy. So here’s a step-by-step guide on what to expect.

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