Chivalry refers to all of its historical relevance. It carries the weight of patriarchal male privilege and female subordination dichotomies. And as such, if taken with all of its historical context and breadth of connotation, can be considered to be a part of rape culture. And if you’re not trying to bring up all that jazz, then maybe chivalry simply isn’t the word you’re looking for.

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Co-parenting — two people contributing to the parenting of the same child or children while leading separate lives — comes in a lot of different forms. But the best-case scenarios, especially amongst the ruins of past relationships, are voluntarily cooperative (and not begrudging) where both parties can selflessly work toward the benefit of the child. But how do you do it successfully?

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When I hear people discussing the Stay-at-Home Mom/Work-Out-of-Home Mom dichotomy, I feel incredibly disjointed from the conversation. I divide up my priorities between paying the bills, quality learning, and loving time with my son and that is my self-actualization. For me, parenting as a feminist is doing what is best based on your values, regardless of adversity or public opinion.

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