It’s the affirmation that every woman allegedly wants and even needs to hear: “You’re beautiful.” Like many girls, I aspired to be beautiful. If I wasn’t beautiful, how could I put my best self forward? How could I designate myself as worthy of someone’s time? Not feeling beautiful becomes almost threatening. Which prompts the question: Why?
I never had bad luck with dates or flings, especially with the kinds of men who look good on paper. Yet my trysts with these men never led to anything meaningful. I was constantly being pushed away or kept out of sight by men attracted to me but terrified of what everyone else might think of dating a transgender woman. That is, until I met Drew.
Asexuality is just now coming onto the horizon as an identity. In the last ten years, there has been a growing awareness that some people don’t want or need sex to live fulfilled lives. However, something that still confuses people is how asexual people date! So I spoke with two asexual activists in order to better understand dating in the asexual community.
When Matt and I had first started seeing each other, I often feared that he liked me only because, to him, I was a rare sight. But I put it out of my mind. I didn’t want to think about it. I realize now that our relationship didn’t fail simply because he was white and I was Asian. It failed because we had different values systems.
It was the summer of 2006. I met Ben at the movie theater where we both worked. He seemed somewhat uncomfortable in his skin, but, hell, so was I. Eventually, I became acutely more aware of Ben’s extreme insecurity and unhealthy habits. At the time, I naively thought my words and support alone could help him. But I didn’t know then what I know now.
Healing after sexual trauma can be an erratic, draining, and difficult process. It can also be extremely rewarding and empowering. While it is common for the partner of a rape survivor to feel helpless, there are many ways that they can be an excellent source of support. Here are some ideas to consider when attempting to support your partner with their healing.
Hank Green knows we all want to be appreciated, but he wants you to know that initial attraction isn’t really based in reality. And he’s worried about young women basing their self-worth on whether they appeal to guys, especially since that seems to be how the world is set up. So hear him out in this video where he discusses love at first sight and its nonsense.
Often, straight men become frustrated when they meet a woman who doesn’t trust them immediately. They’re frustrated that women impose a “guilty until proven innocent” mentality on all men. But there are reasons why women feel this way. If we can work to understand those reasons, we can learn how to work with her in a supportive role, if that’s what she wants.
So you’ve been reading about polyamory and have decided it’s something you want to try. Or maybe you’re still thinking about it, but don’t have a clear sense of where you’d even begin. It can take some time to figure out how polyamory works best in your life. Here are a few tips, guidelines, and things to consider for people just starting out in the poly world.
People in queer relationships are often subjected to a barrage of ignorance from the straight community. Whether it be invasive sexual questions or unwanted criticism, nothing seems to be off limits to the innocently inquisitive straight. Inevitably, one of the more repetitive and annoying debates will be the age-old question “Who’s the man and who’s the woman?”