Due to how our society has sexualized Asian women in a racialized way, Asian women often have to deal with sexist and racist microaggressions that are normalized in our society as “flirting.” To highlight the absurdity of these all too common comments, check out this hilarious video of what would it look like if the roles were switched and Asian women said this stuff to white men.
I met Dave on a dating site. He was interesting, gentlemanly, and bright; I was enticed and longed for the full knowing of this man. And so, we planned a weekend together. Afterward, he confessed to me: “Your body is too wrinkly. I like your head and your heart. But I just can’t deal with your body.” But I would not diminish myself for him — or for anyone.
Yellow fever. Exotification. Asian fetish. Racism. Our sexist and racist society has a long history of teaching white straight guys to fixate on Asian women in inappropriate and — frankly — offensive ways. That’s not to say that it’s impossible to date an Asian woman without being problematic, but there are some normalized things you should avoid saying. Here are just a few!
Plenty of people will try to tell you that it is a wife’s role to serve her husband. But Clair Huxtable from The Cosby Show has a different idea of marriage. In her opinion, it’s a partnership where each party participates. Watch one of television’s most beloved characters break down gendered behavior expectations, and explain what marriage really is.
Some people claim that love is (color)blind. But it hasn’t even been 50 years since laws prohibiting interracial relationships were outlawed, and the effects of that history are still in play today. So how do people navigate this history of tension, privilege, and oppression when they’re also trying to date each other? Here are some ways to approach the topic.
The knight in shining armor who saves the damsel in distress: sound familiar? Probably, since it’s one of the most popular narratives in history. And it can lead to some pretty messed up thoughts on healthy relationships. If you consider being saved romantic, or saving someone else heroic, you may have a savior complex. And it may be ruining your relationship.
Walking through the world as a fat woman has its own challenges. But when you’re a fat woman who’s dating someone with a thin, more socially acceptable body — someone people don’t think you deserve — well, that’s something else. Watch Rachel Wiley express some of the honest thoughts and anxieties that come with being loved by a skinny boy in this spoken word performance.
I hate to break it to you, but it’s possible your relationship is actually making you tired. Maybe you’ve been together a while or have fallen into a routine, but most likely it’s because you, your partner, or both of you have stopped feeling excited in your relationship. Want your relationship to keep you energized? Try out my four go-to techniques.
I’ve come to learn is that relationships grow if both individuals evenly tend them. If a relationship was an equation, both individuals have to be the same number. One can’t be greater or smaller; they have to be in balance, equal. But finding this balance in a relationship can be difficult. Here are a few things you need if you want a balanced relationship.
It’s the affirmation that every woman allegedly wants and even needs to hear: “You’re beautiful.” Like many girls, I aspired to be beautiful. If I wasn’t beautiful, how could I put my best self forward? How could I designate myself as worthy of someone’s time? Not feeling beautiful becomes almost threatening. Which prompts the question: Why?