I am not the poster child queer woman. Pastel sundresses, lacy push-up bras, and vanilla lip gloss would not, as it were, come as accessories with Stereotypical Lesbian Barbie. Femmes are the surprises. Femmes are the ones who are asked how we can possibly be queer-identified if we paint our nails. We’re the ones who have to fight to be noticed for who we are.
Online dating has never been more popular, perhaps because it enables you to choose who you want to chat to. So throw the traditional dating rulebook out of the window and make the first move on the candidates on your hot list. If you fancy a date with someone, ask them! Read on for some tips for making the best out of your online dating adventures.
She is my partner. She is not my girlfriend. Choosing to use the word “partner” is somewhat political, but it is also very personal. I choose to use “partner” to not only indicate to society that I desire equality in my relationship, but more importantly, to indicate to my partner that, above all else, I unconditionally respect her as a completely autonomous and equal companion.
You’ve seen the statuses (“I said YES!”) and the ring selfies (“He put a ring on it!”). You’ve also memorized the jewelry store slogans. Everyone, it’s here. It’s engagement season. And if engagement season makes you contemplate a swift death, you’ve come to the right place. Put the chocolate and wine away, because here are some healthy ways to sift through the engagement season frenzy.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like declaring and then explaining my sexual identity when it’s irrelevant to the conversation. In addition to the benefits to the LGBTQIA+ community, I find that there are gender-neutral words that better describe the nature of your relationship than “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.” So here are some gender-neutral choices to say instead.
We are taught from a young age how to recognize abusive romantic relationships. But friendships as vehicles for abuse almost never cross our cultural radar. Toxic friendships can become a hotbed of emotional and psychological microagressions because our desire to leave them is never validated. So what do you do? It might be time to take a step back and reevaluate whether it’s time to break up.
Telling the truth is hard. There’s social pressure to see things in certain ways and to tell certain premeditated status-quo enabling truths. Society coerces us into telling a narrative that doesn’t reflect the truths that we know, but rather the truths that society so desperately wants us to believe. But we can do better for ourselves – and for others.
Whether you and your loved one are three hours away or three time zones away, you are in a long-distance relationship. In any healthy relationship, you should be honest and communicative, be open about your futures, support each other to be better people, and celebrate/evaluate your relationship on a regular basis. Distance should not change that.
You’ve probably thought before about the implications that feminist ideals can have on your relationships. Society’s social norms can make things tricky, especially when not all of our relationships exist with equally as feminist people. But how you chose to relate to and with others is completely up to you. The ultimate feminist act is to practice this.
I hear it all too often: “I’m not racist, but I just wouldn’t date [insert race/ethnicity].” If you have to start a sentence with a clarification that you’re not racist, that’s a pretty good indicator that you need to reevaluate whatever you’re about to say. You can’t know whether or not you have chemistry with someone unless you get to know them. So be open-minded.