Transform Your Life Through Feminism
If there are women in the room, their objectification seems to be a bonding mechanism for butches and men. The patriarchy barters and trades with women as currency, and in those moments, we’re doing the same thing. But I know that we can be empowered without using our power in a way that hurts people. Our masculinity doesn’t have to turn femmes into objects whenever our masculinity is questioned.
Trans women are a component of queer women’s communities, so a lack of respect amongst us just means more devaluing of women, when society dishes out plenty of that for all of us already. So with that in mind, I have put together some suggestions for cis women on thinking through some basic trans issues, including ideas on approaching trans women in a romantic or intimate context.
Straight men and women are going to find people of the opposite gender attractive and want to let them know that. And that’s fine. In fact, a lot of us love getting compliments. But it’s the intent behind the compliment that can be problematic. We think it’s great if you find a woman attractive and want to let her know that, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to do it.
Being happy in a relationship is nearly impossible if you feel unlovable. You’ll either ignore your needs and act from a place of keeping your partner happy rather than yourself or push your partner away in order to confirm your belief that you’re unlovable. But we all have flaws and being lovable doesn’t mean being perfect. So here are a few steps to help you believe that you are, indeed, lovable.
I probably don’t need to tell you that it’s tough to navigate the dating world as a feminist. The dating compromises that one can makes along the way can feel deeply at odds with your personal feminist politics. So here are some helpful ways to frame its challenges and check in with yourself that relieve the experience of some headache and heartache.
When I witnessed female classmates dropping out of school at an alarming rate with the express purpose of getting married and starting a family, I wondered, “are traditional gender roles what we fought for?” But later I realized the most important thing is to offer men and women the right to choose their own life path and not feel like their choices are restricted by their gender.
We are products of a lifetime of gendered social messages that tell us that every woman needs a man – that to not have one, even for a moment, is a failure at womanhood. Aside from all the overt sexism, the idea that being single sucks is flat out WRONG. So here are a few ways that being single is good for you and a viable life choice if you want to.
Saying “no” to a request for a sexual activity can often bring up feelings of shame and awkwardness, even with people we’re in ongoing relationships. When you have trouble saying “no” to a simple (platonic) request, how do you say it to someone that you actually really like and want to do something sexual with later? Here are some ways to develop your comfort with saying “no.”
Are feminists allowed to like Valentine’s Day? Of course we are. And we’re also allowed to not like it. Valentine’s Day teaches us to show love through consumerism when obligated by a holiday and in only heteronormative and gendered ways. At the same time, it can be fun and satisfying to celebrate the holiday in a way that reclaims celebrating loving relationships for ourselves.
Sometimes I get asked, ‘How do I approach a fat girl?’ Just like ANY other woman! We’re real people with real personalities and feelings, like anyone else – except as fat women, we spend a lot of our lives being treated differently, usually not in a good way. This includes when people try to date us. So here are some tips to help you respectfully approach and date larger women.
