It’s super important to have conversations about sexual boundaries, consent, and desires with your lovers. These conversations keep us safer, but there aren’t many examples for how to respectfully and non-fetishistically have them when your lover is trans. This article provides insight on how to compassionately negotiate sexual dialogue with your trans partner.
Folks have a lot to say to women and girls who dress “immodestly,” such as “you look like a slut” and “aren’t you afraid you’ll be harassed or raped?” For many, their words come from a place of concern. But in a society that wants to control and police women’s sexuality, it means their concern is actually coming from a place of misogyny.
Recently, California passed the “Yes Means Yes” law, which dictates that “an affirmative, unambiguous and conscious decision” must be reached by everyone involved to engage in sexual activity. This was a huge step in the fight against rape culture! What does this decision mean in terms of our society’s view of sex and consent? Check out this video to find out!
If you don’t have one, you know someone who does. But how much do you really know about the clitoris? If you’re like a lot of people, probably not much. That’s due in part to society’s focus on cis-male pleasure — thanks, patriarchy! We could all benefit from learning a little more about the clitoris. To learn more about this amazing part of our bodies, check out this video!
With inaccurate media representations and the cultural stigma, there are a lot of misconceptions about people in the sex industry. We too often fail to see the complexity and diversity in who is engaged in commercial sex, why they’re doing it, and the degree of consent and coercion involved. These myths keep us from seeing this issue for what it really is. So let’s debunk them.
I met Dave on a dating site. He was interesting, gentlemanly, and bright; I was enticed and longed for the full knowing of this man. And so, we planned a weekend together. Afterward, he confessed to me: “Your body is too wrinkly. I like your head and your heart. But I just can’t deal with your body.” But I would not diminish myself for him — or for anyone.
Only have sex with people who’ve given enthusiastic, willful, and uninfluenced consent. Seems straightforward, right? But there are still plenty of people who object to this definition of consensual sex. Why? Because they value being able to have sex more than their partner’s consent. Check out this comic for a perfect example of what these conversations look like.
Asexuality is defined as not experiencing sexual attraction. Seems straightforward, right? But like most things, asexuality isn’t as simple as it appears. Within asexuality there are many different spectra to consider: from gender and sexual attraction to sexual drive and desire. There is a lot of nuance to this identity. Check out this video for a helpful introduction!
Anyone who’s ever used oral contraception knows that getting it is no easy task. But condoms? Condoms are available in every gas station, grocery store, and drug store. And that difference is because our patriarchal society doesn’t want women to be able to easily have sex without the fear of getting pregnant. So check out this video parody showing how ridiculously difficult we make buying the pill.
I’ve talked before about the toxic culture surrounding masculinity and how it hurts men. Today, I want to start the conversation to help dismantle it. One of the best places to start is to talk about sex. Specifically: male virginity and the shame in not having sex. Let’s talk about the problems with the way we think about male virginity and how to fix them.