Trans women are a component of queer women’s communities, so a lack of respect amongst us just means more devaluing of women, when society dishes out plenty of that for all of us already. So with that in mind, I have put together some suggestions for cis women on thinking through some basic trans issues, including ideas on approaching trans women in a romantic or intimate context.
Most articles about being a good lover begin with “How to Please Your Man” directives. Not this one. The heart of being a good lover starts with communication and self-awareness, making sure that you always carry a self-awareness and communication tool-kit. So here are a few pointers on how to be a good lover. This is a start to a feminist approach to good — and hopefully great — loving.
Even though you think of your first time as far behind you, the truth is: new partners enter your life. And every time you’re with someone new, you’re having sex for the first time all over again. So, to ensure that you’ll have great sex any first time around, I’ve come up with the following delicious recipe. Spolier alert: All it takes is communication.
Whispers from the mainstream media, pornography, friends, and locker room walls sell lies, telling us what we want to hear, convincing us of untruths. It’s like a game of Telephone, but what’s at stake is our understanding of ourselves and our relationships. And that’s a dangerous game. So here’s the truth – about penises.
We want to appreciate beauty, and part of that is taking in the physical beauty of the people around us. But our actions never exist in isolation. Wandering eyes exist as part of a daily onslaught women face where their bodies are treated as public property – leered at, jeered at, and objectified in the media and in the eyes of many men. So how can we responsibly navigate the difference?
We believe parents can start educating children about consent and empowerment as early as 1 year old and continuing into the college years. It is our sincere hope that this education can help us raise empowered young adults who have empathy for others and a clear understanding of healthy consent. There are three sections, based upon children’s ages, preschool, grade school, and teens and young adults.
The entire world convinced me over the years that my vagina was gross, dirty, and ugly. That shit stays with you. But that’s the thing about self-image and cultivating positive, awesome body-love – you have to work at it. So if you find yourself in the position of hating your vagina or if you know a young person who might, here are some suggestions to get you started on loving it instead.
I started watching porn in elementary school and now can’t climax without fantasizing about porn during sex. I feel estranged from my sexuality, like it’s somebody else’s. So I’m trying to reprogram myself — unlearn my socialized porn-inspired sexuality. I want to reclaim my sexual desires and figure out what feels good through honest sensual exploration.
Saying “no” to a request for a sexual activity can often bring up feelings of shame and awkwardness, even with people we’re in ongoing relationships. When you have trouble saying “no” to a simple (platonic) request, how do you say it to someone that you actually really like and want to do something sexual with later? Here are some ways to develop your comfort with saying “no.”
Pornography sucks at depicting realistic sex, including lesbian sex. Yes, it’s supposed to be a fantasy. But the problem with that excuse is that without any factual knowledge to keep you grounded paired with misconceptions already being spread by mainstream media, you can become miseducated and end up believing that’s what they’re probably like. And that has a real effect on queer women.