We’re taught that a “normal” relationship has a cisgender man and a cisgender woman. Same with a “normal” case of intimate partner violence. But reports of LGBTQIA+ intimate partner violence are on the rise. So why is LGBTQIA+ IPV so invisible? Let’s survey the scene, and get some essential guidelines for giving safe and affirming support to LGBTQIA+ IPV survivors.
Have you ever been insulted in a way that felt a little bit racist, but you couldn’t quite figure out why? Were you reluctant to say something for fear of being “too sensitive?” Microaggressions can take a big toll on us as people of color, as we begin to wonder if our own feelings are valid. But there are empowering ways to address microaggressions. Here’s how.
(Trigger Warning: Intimate partner violence, sexual assault) Family violence affects people of all backgrounds. So don’t all survivors deserve support? With her story, one woman exposes the terrible truth about the racism and stigma aboriginal survivors face when they try to pursue safety and justice. Read her powerful story of surviving intimate partner and sexual abuse, and let’s advocate for justice for all survivors.
For women into online gaming, revealing the simple fact that we’re women can leave us vulnerable to harassment. Here, one woman shares how her problems went away when she played as a male character – and how one man who learned of her gender escalated his aggression to a dangerous level. Read her account of the gaming culture that made #Gamergate possible.
“You should be thankful!” Have you ever heard that about catcalls? Many conversations on street harassment leave out this part – how it feels when harassers are the only ones saying you’re beautiful. Here’s one woman’s story of getting messages that it’s impossible to be beautiful and be Black, and growing to reject those ideas and find validation in herself. (Trigger Warning)
Folks in the media are notorious for saying abysmal things about survivors of sexual violence. But for most survivors, it doesn’t take a media spotlight to beget insensitive, uninformed, and downright erroneous remarks about their experiences. Unfortunately, it’s something they face every day. So here are some things we should stop saying to survivors – immediately.
Love YouTube videos? You should know this about the women who make them: “I love making YouTube videos. I love making content that makes you laugh or think or see the world differently. I hate that my job comes with a daily dose of harassment.” In this video, these women share about the sexist, racist, and body-shaming comments that regularly slam their work. (Trigger Warning)
(Trigger Warning: Sexual assault) Just what does consent mean? As we communicate, the differences between words is significant. In just a few words, this short poem cuts quick and deep to the true meaning of consent. With an unexpected turn, this skillful poet shows how rape violates the vital need for someone to give willful, affirmative consent before sex. Her words are chilling and unforgettable.
(Trigger warning: rape). Rolling Stone’s recent retraction of a story about campus rape was a disaster, and not for reasons you might think. Rape survivors already face way too many barriers when it comes to getting help, including the risk that they they won’t be believed. Check out this video for insight on why Rolling Stone’s handling of the situation just makes those barriers worse.
Sex after sexual assault can be tough. Mental, emotional, and physical hardships are entirely legitimate, but the stereotype of sexual assault survivors as damaged and unable to function “normally” is utterly false. We all deserve a healthy sex life if we want one. So here’s a helpful guide to getting all the self-care and pleasure you deserve after surviving sexual assault.