Male socialization runs so deep through our veins. For many, the shame of not having money, the shame of not being able to provide, collapses upon every other facet of our lives. Few of us speak the shame. Few of us hold the shame, look at it, and let it be within us but not of us. Few of us know how.

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As an adopted child, I promised myself that I would find my family in Korea. So when I came out as a trans woman, I could never find the will to move forward with my transition – taking hormones or surgery – despite the opportunity to do so. And my hesitation was largely due to my unknown family living far away in Korea. So I went to find my biological mother.

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