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I’ve talked before about the toxic culture surrounding masculinity and how it hurts men. Today, I want to start the conversation to help dismantle it. One of the best places to start is to talk about sex. Specifically: male virginity and the shame in not having sex. Let’s talk about the problems with the way we think about male virginity and how to fix them.

Virginity, supposedly, is sacred. But I have news for you: It doesn’t have to be. All it takes is a little bit of myth-busting, a little bit of education, and we can turn around the conversation about virginity. So let me help you navigate through the murky waters of these four myths about virginity. Join me. We’re long overdue.

The concept of virginity is harmful in many ways – but here’s one option that changed this author’s approach for the better. Find out how the idea of multiple virginities helps her.

Virginity. It’s something we all know of, something we’ve all talked about. It’s something we, as a culture, obsess over. The idea of your first penis-in-vagina sexual encounter being something significant and life altering (well, for women anyway) may seem like just a tradition, but it’s actually very problematic and even harmful. Here are five reasons why.

Knowledge is power, and we can promote a healthier relationship with sex. But first we need to stop perpetuating the following 17 myths about female sexuality.

A person with their head in their hands

Do you believe that all first-time vaginal penetration has to involve pain and bleeding? Actually, for most people, it doesn’t have to be this way! Here are the misguided reasons so many of us believe this is true.

Person trying to catcall another

What are some ways you’ve seen society teaching boys and men that women are theirs for the taking?

Wedding cake toppers against a teal background

Wow, this is really bad advice. Does the Christian church’s monopoly on Western conversations on sex and marriage mean you’ve been subject to it?

One person looking frustrated at the person they're talking to

It be really hard to know how to support a friend after sexual assault. So here’s some help – phrases you might want to offer for comfort, that can actually end up causing harm. Do you have any to add to the list?

Reason #2: “This approach takes the pressure off.” This shift in perspective could help many people’s approach to sex – does it change anything for you?

Can you guess what Marina found out about the early days of rape culture? You may be surprised by how long it’s been around.

A couple kissing on their wedding day

“You can’t be a feminist and get married!” Ever heard that from someone else or in your own head? The idea that modern marriage excludes feminism is absurd and insulting. You should be free to make your own choices and have a wedding that fits your values, if a wedding is what you choose. Here are some helpful tips to get you thinking about how to make the feminist wedding of your dreams.

(Trigger warning: rape.) Like most college freshmen, I drank too much. And one night, I drank too much and was pitched out of a frat house in the dead of winter. I woke up in my lofted bed. My clothing was on the floor, and I felt an invisible miasma of shame engulfing me. And my coping mechanism was to make my rapist my partner, giving purpose and intent to something horrible.

There’s a problem with how women’s sexuality is portrayed in Bollywood films. So this author’s pointing out why it matters for South Asian women, and what needs to change.

A parent and child holding mugs are talking to each other.

Do you know about the consequences of leaving pleasure out of sex ed? They’re really worrisome – but there’s hope for progress!

Sarah couldn’t even get a tampon in, much less have sex due to the pain. Then she learned that she had an annular hymen. So she decided to get a vagina widening surgery done.

Young women get all kinds of messages that can make your sexual awakening a bewildering and painful time. Here’s a healthier message.

The majority of people with vaginas have painful sexual intercourse at some point in their lives. Cristen Conger shares some of the most common reasons, with ideas to help.

She was terrified after hearing that sex would hurt. But painful sex is not inevitable – and these are some awful results of saying that it is.

“Will I be taken seriously?” All survivors deserve support – including survivors of woman-on-woman rape. Here’s how to give that support.