One of the most obnoxious forms of ignorance that LGBTQ people face is identity policing, which often manifests as other people providing “theories” to explain your sexuality. Being queer means that people always feel entitled to an explanation — or worse, they think they know better. Let’s go through the various, ridiculous incarnations of queer identity police.

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It’s the affirmation that every woman allegedly wants and even needs to hear: “You’re beautiful.” Like many girls, this author aspired to be beautiful. If she wasn’t beautiful, she thought, how could she put my best self forward? How could she designate herself as worthy of someone’s time? Not feeling beautiful becomes almost threatening. Which prompts the question: Why?

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There’s no shortage of outcries from those who believe that selfies are the pinnacle of the passive narcissism and self-indulgence facilitated by social media. But we need to start teaching girls that confidence is not a sign of vanity, but a marker of healthy self perception and positive thinking. Break out your camera and start snapping. Embrace yourself.

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