We’ve all been there – just when you think you’ve become a good ally, somebody tells you that you’ve done or said something problematic. Here’s the good news: nobody’s perfect, so you’re not alone. Perfection is not what’s important, and being an ally doesn’t mean you can do no wrong. Read about what is important, and learn what to do if you make a mistake.

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There are certain things people say to queer women over and over again that they just shouldn’t — and straight women do this, too. We think that women can’t oppress other women, but it’s entirely possible. And we need to talk more about it. So, here are five things straight women shouldn’t say when talking to queer women. And yes, we’ve heard them all before.

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