Whispers from the mainstream media, pornography, friends, and locker room walls sell lies, telling us what we want to hear, convincing us of untruths. It’s like a game of Telephone, but what’s at stake is our understanding of ourselves and our relationships. And that’s a dangerous game. So here’s the truth – about penises.

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Contrary to popular belief, eating disorders are not diets. They’re a type of mental illness and is categorized by a loss of self-control and an inability to think and behave rationally towards food. And while poor body-image and diet culture are problematic, eating disorders take on a whole new level of dangerous. So we need to be able to pinpoint when the former develops into the latter.

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The entire world convinced me over the years that my vagina was gross, dirty, and ugly. That shit stays with you. But that’s the thing about self-image and cultivating positive, awesome body-love – you have to work at it. So if you find yourself in the position of hating your vagina or if you know a young person who might, here are some suggestions to get you started on loving it instead.

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Saying “no” to a request for a sexual activity can often bring up feelings of shame and awkwardness, even with people we’re in ongoing relationships. When you have trouble saying “no” to a simple (platonic) request, how do you say it to someone that you actually really like and want to do something sexual with later? Here are some ways to develop your comfort with saying “no.”

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Pornography sucks at depicting realistic sex, including lesbian sex. Yes, it’s supposed to be a fantasy. But the problem with that excuse is that without any factual knowledge to keep you grounded paired with misconceptions already being spread by mainstream media, you can become miseducated and end up believing that’s what they’re probably like. And that has a real effect on queer women.

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