Steubenville is a horrific example of the bystander effect. But what if your kid is a bystander to teasing, to name calling, to social ostracizing – behaviors that some refer to as “kids being kids?” Have you addressed that? Are you sure you’ve modeled the proper way not to stand by? Let’s look at some ways parents might inadvertently be supporting bystanders.

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I want my kids to learn: 1) that they can identify their emotions and self-regulate their behavior, 2) that I love them regardless of their behavior, and 3) that living in a family means finding ways to meet everyone’s needs. The goal is not to suppress the behavior in the moment but to teach the child how to deal with their feelings now and in the future.

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Children have needs, and so do parents. And both of our needs matter. Mainstream parenting usually negates the needs of the child. If they acknowledge the needs at all, they are considered wrong, to be changed through training. But parenting is, above all else, a relationship between two people: the parent and the child. Here’s an easy tool you can start using today to keep that relationship balanced.

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What if you didn’t use power over your kids but instead shared power with them? What if you nurtured socially conscious adults ready to challenge patriarchy? Let’s explore a fresh look at parenting that takes into consideration an actionable, skill-based philosophy of parenting through feminism, rooted in feminist ideals of respect, equality, and social justice.

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For the first time, this year, my family is the one that will be getting a large refund. And it has really put some things into perspective. I’m a little ashamed at the privileged judging I did in previous tax years of cash-strapped people who get large refunds. Here’s what I wish I’d known before so that I would understand why some people get so much and others get so little back.

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