The work of being a feminist doesn’t stop once we claim to be feminists. Years of socialization will not suddenly vanish from one’s mind or way of knowing and experiencing the world. So it’s important we be honest with ourselves about messages we’ve internalized, recognize our privilege, and question our assumptions in order to practice an inclusive, accountable, and progressive feminism.

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The “gray area” we have come to know as an inevitable part of sex is a product of our culture’s unhealthy approach to sex. But this murky confusion does not have to and should not exist. We need to talk openly about the “gray area” myth and how it plays out in order to recognize instances in which consent is being assumed where it does not exist and in order to have truly consensual sexual experiences.

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