Make no mistake: I was not always a bathing suit enthusiast! But this year, I bought my very own fatkini in week one of beach season. “Holy lemon bars, what is a fatkini, Virgie?” you may be asking. It’s a trendy moniker for a two-piece bathing suit for fat girls – often involving high-waisted bottoms. If you haven’t heard of the fatkini phenomenon, ghurl, you’ve got to get on this trend.

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I have become so accustomed to calling myself fat – and fat being a word that I associate with pride and joy – that at times, I forget how radical (and scary) an act it truly is. And I think that when we make room for only the most radical people or the most radical vocabulary, we leave many people behind. So I explored this feeling through conversations with women about what other words they love in describing their big bodies.

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I lived a very long time with the belief that my body was my enemy. I believed it had betrayed me, swallowed me up, and that the real me was deep down somewhere inside. Because I was a girl, self-hatred was part of my cultural inheritance. My life began when I stopped trying to lose weight and set my mind to losing hate. Because I only get one body, and I will fight for it, not against it.

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Everyone is entitled to a relationship with their body that is based in care and respect. It’s time to stop thinking of your body as a hostile encasing in which you are imprisoned. So, in search of answers about self-love, I asked eight of the most fabulous curvy women that I know one question: What is the big secret of your relationship to your body? And here’s what they said.

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