Why do so many straight girls think being seen as a lesbian is an insult? Unpacking the driving social forces behind the fear shows how we’ve been taught to cater to the male gaze. Here’s how to break the cycle, de-condition yourself from patriarchal beliefs about femininity, and eradicate lesbophobia and queerphobia among women. As long as you’re happy in your own skin, rock on.

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So many people like to argue that society can’t possibly change to accommodate all the needs of its oppressed and marginalized people (though we’re constantly backflipping to protect and validate privilege). But that argument is never based on facts, research, or precedent. Instead, it uses people’s fear of change and loss to deny oppressed people their rights.

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There are many aspects of my identity that afford me privilege. I used to feel as if this meant I was a bad person, and I was trapped in shame. In time I came to realize that if privilege guilt prevents me from acting against oppression, then it is simply another tool of oppression. I had to find a way to move out of guilt if I wanted to make a difference.

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