As a gay feminist, I’ve had to tell many the straight boy, “Those jokes make me feel uncomfortable. Please stop.” The percussive nature of gay rape jokes can certainly get a laugh, but they also speak to some of our societal attitudes regarding rape and queer sexuality. Here are some answers to the question, “Why do people think gay rape jokes are okay?”

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As with all other systems of oppression, rape culture is a beast with tentacles and spores across countless other facets of inequality. The following 3 things may not appear to be major components of rape culture at first glance, but undoubtedly fuel and are fueled by it. Dismantling and addressing these things must be part of our movement to end rape culture.

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Chivalry refers to all of its historical relevance. It carries the weight of patriarchal male privilege and female subordination dichotomies. And as such, if taken with all of its historical context and breadth of connotation, can be considered to be a part of rape culture. And if you’re not trying to bring up all that jazz, then maybe chivalry simply isn’t the word you’re looking for.

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CultureMap, who I was a columnist for, ran an article speculating that perhaps the girl who reported being raped by a high school baseball star was lying – without citing any details that imply that other than “kids are supposed to lie.” To make sure they knew I wasn’t secretly cool with treating victims as probable liars, as long as they wrote me checks, I wrote that it was bullsh*t and got fired for it. (Trigger Warning)

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Due to patriarchy, our society does not want to acknowledge the frequency and impact of sexual violence directed at boys and men. Because of the misogynist socialization of masculinity, boys are taught to embrace and celebrate their abuse. This leads to years of silent trauma for too many men. Let’s debunk some of these harmful stereotypes and inaccurate myths.

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