I’ve been thinking a lot about the assumptions people make about living in a fat body. I want to break some of those erroneous assumptions about living in a fat body down. I want to talk about how it feels to live in a fat body.

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Becoming a mother is not easy and society doesn’t make it any easier. There’s constant pressure on mothers to be sure they are doing everything “perfect” to raise their children or else they’re be screwed up. And that fear can seriously mess up your ability to figure out what your child and you, as a mother, need.

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The other day a man wrote to me to tell me that I shouldn’t worry—I’m not that ugly, men don’t care. Thanks (not really), but that’s not the point. My disappointment with my appearance, and the squirming, insistent anxiety that I didn’t look right, I didn’t look good enough—those things felt bigger than men.

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Dear Mr. Sexist, I’d like to thank you for everything you’ve taught me over the past 25 years. Why, I had no idea I was so fat, ugly and stupid. I thought being a Size 12 was perfectly acceptable. But when you yelled across the newsroom, “I want two inches off your hair and two inches off your arse,” suddenly, a light went on.

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Many of us have been conditioned to see vaginas (even our own!) as something shameful, only to be talked about when “appropriate.” This perpetuation of silence and shame can make some people uncomfortable about going to the gynecologist, even though it’s an important part of staying healthy. So here’s a step-by-step guide on what to expect.

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