Yellow fever. Exotification. Asian fetish. Racism. Our sexist and racist society has a long history of teaching white straight guys to fixate on Asian women in inappropriate and — frankly — offensive ways. That’s not to say that it’s impossible to date an Asian woman without being problematic, but there are some normalized things you should avoid saying. Here are just a few!

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Some people claim that love is (color)blind. But it hasn’t even been 50 years since laws prohibiting interracial relationships were outlawed, and the effects of that history are still in play today. So how do people navigate this history of tension, privilege, and oppression when they’re also trying to date each other? Here are some ways to approach the topic.

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The knight in shining armor who saves the damsel in distress: sound familiar? Probably, since it’s one of the most popular narratives in history. And it can lead to some pretty messed up thoughts on healthy relationships. If you consider being saved romantic, or saving someone else heroic, you may have a savior complex. And it may be ruining your relationship.

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