Sometimes – well, most times – there’s pain in a relationship. And sometimes, things can become so fragile and hard to navigate that irreparable cracks surface, and the relationship becomes broken. And I’ve been there. Far too many times. Learning, growing, and working hard to understand why brokenness breaks you – and what to do about it – is a journey. But it’s one worth taking.

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“Crying forever,” I wrote on Facebook after updating my relationship status to Single. That’s how I felt – like the tears would never stop. I’d been through break-ups before; the pain didn’t last forever. But that’s hard to remember when you’re in the midst of it. It’s hard to remember that the only way out is through. So let me guide you through the layers of Hell known as The Stages of Grief.

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I won’t lie: Being in a multicultural relationship has many challenges. You need to have an open mind and be willing to do things “the other way” when necessary. Yet attraction, love, and understanding are ultimately the only things a couple needs to survive. My relationship – like most relationships – is all about embracing the good, the bad, and the ugly.

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One-in-three adolescents in the United States is a victim of abuse at the hands of an intimate partner. This isn’t just kids being kids. This is people who are coming of age accepting abuse as normal, paving the way for a lifetime of danger. But before we can see a change, we need to see a problem. And because teen dating violence has been so normalized, we really need to start at the basics.

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I wanted to love, I just didn’t know how. I looked at love and saw pain, loss, jealousy, and rejection. Love was stressful. At times, I would love too much. Then too little. Then not at all. For the past couple of years, I’ve been learning how to love and the barriers to bash through to do so. If you find yourself in a similar position, here are some tips to get you started.

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