If there are women in the room, their objectification seems to be a bonding mechanism for butches and men. The patriarchy barters and trades with women as currency, and in those moments, we’re doing the same thing. But I know that we can be empowered without using our power in a way that hurts people. Our masculinity doesn’t have to turn femmes into objects whenever our masculinity is questioned.

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Trans women are a component of queer women’s communities, so a lack of respect amongst us just means more devaluing of women, when society dishes out plenty of that for all of us already. So with that in mind, I have put together some suggestions for cis women on thinking through some basic trans issues, including ideas on approaching trans women in a romantic or intimate context.

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Being happy in a relationship is nearly impossible if you feel unlovable. You’ll either ignore your needs and act from a place of keeping your partner happy rather than yourself or push your partner away in order to confirm your belief that you’re unlovable. But we all have flaws and being lovable doesn’t mean being perfect. So here are a few steps to help you believe that you are, indeed, lovable.

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It goes without saying that dating as a feminist is no easy feat. The dating compromises that one makes along the way can feel deeply at odds with your personal feminist politics. It can feel like you’re betraying feminism. But there are helpful ways to frame these challenges, and relieve some headache and heartache. Here are three of my tips to dating as a feminist.

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