Everyone is entitled to a relationship with their body that is based in care and respect. It’s time to stop thinking of your body as a hostile encasing in which you are imprisoned. So, in search of answers about self-love, I asked eight of the most fabulous curvy women that I know one question: What is the big secret of your relationship to your body? And here’s what they said.
When you’re angry, the question isn’t about whether or not your feelings are valid – because they are. But rather: Is there a healthier way to respond? Anger is a perfectly healthy human emotion. But what you do with that anger can be hurtful. Here are some ways to identify our go-to reactions so that we can better prepare ourselves to make choices when it comes to our emotional expressions.
You’ve been taught, over and over again, that people’s opinions of you matter. You’ve been taught that if someone thinks you’re too fat, or too loud, or too smart, or too dumb, or too whatever, or not enough whatever, that they get to have a say in how you feel about yourself. So I’d like to introduce you to the deep spiritual practice of Not Giving A Shit.
I had learned that it was “best” to seem healthier or present a plastic version than to reveal the real, hurting me. But inside, I felt fried, blitzed, scattered. At some point, I decided that I had had enough of that. It needed to stop. I needed to change. But I wasn’t even sure what my image of emotional healthiness was. Here are some ways I learned that worked for me and may work for you.
I went through a decade where I didn’t like much of anything about myself. I would sit for hours wondering what was wrong with me, why I wasn’t like so-and-so, or why I couldn’t just like myself. And then I got so fed up with not knowing how to change that I no longer cared that I didn’t know how to do it. I was going to do it anyway. And now, I want to share how I did it – in three reflective steps.
What we need while recovering from an eating disorder is real-life, real-time support. But the fear of being judged or written off as “narcissistic” or “self-absorbed” or being told to “just start eating normally and get over it,” forces too many people into silence and too afraid and ashamed to seek help. And silence is the least helpful thing you can put in your recovery toolbox.
When I hear people discussing the Stay-at-Home Mom/Work-Out-of-Home Mom dichotomy, I feel incredibly disjointed from the conversation. I divide up my priorities between paying the bills, quality learning, and loving time with my son and that is my self-actualization. For me, parenting as a feminist is doing what is best based on your values, regardless of adversity or public opinion.
High heels, short skirts, and bold lipstick might look amazing on some women, but those things make me feel vulnerable. Like I’m seeking attention. And for whatever reason, the idea of strangers acknowledging me in a sexual way when I feel like it seems like that’s what I want makes me genuinely uncomfortable. I just happen to feel sexiest in a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt.
Being happy in a relationship is nearly impossible if you feel unlovable. You’ll either ignore your needs and act from a place of keeping your partner happy rather than yourself or push your partner away in order to confirm your belief that you’re unlovable. But we all have flaws and being lovable doesn’t mean being perfect. So here are a few steps to help you believe that you are, indeed, lovable.
Those who are familiar with the power and pervasiveness of the thin ideal may be surprised by “reverse retouching” – where editors now adding curves and inches to create more voluptuous figures. But there’s nothing new about it. It’s just more illusions to form a new standard of normal for women’s bodies and more unnatural and unachievable beauty ideals for real-life females to fall short of.