Dear Mr. Sexist, I’d like to thank you for everything you’ve taught me over the past 25 years. Why, I had no idea I was so fat, ugly and stupid. I thought being a Size 12 was perfectly acceptable. But when you yelled across the newsroom, “I want two inches off your hair and two inches off your arse,” suddenly, a light went on.

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Yes, black women have strength. But time and time again, the word “strong” has been used to dehumanize black women, to trivialize their pain, to create an impossible standard for young black girls to strive towards. For black women, taking that strength back means calling out the ways in which their strength is used against them.

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Many of us have been conditioned to see vaginas (even our own!) as something shameful, only to be talked about when “appropriate.” This perpetuation of silence and shame can make some people uncomfortable about going to the gynecologist, even though it’s an important part of staying healthy. So here’s a step-by-step guide on what to expect.

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