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Being an ally is difficult, especially as a heterosexual cis male. The pressures of (traditional notions of) masculinity and a lifetime of systematic patriarchal training are difficult to overcome. So I have compiled four pieces of advice — based on my own experiences and slip-ups — to help all cis males (myself included) become open feminists and allies.

Would you call yourself an ally or an ally in training? This fun comic shows the difference, and it can help you understand what effective allyship really means.

There are all sorts of ways to be a feminist in today’s world. If we erased all the ways in which we are different, we would lose so much strength in the movement. We won’t end sexism without addressing all oppressions; we can’t work together until we agree that none of us are free until we’re all free. But how can we work together at this point?

Person is overwhelmed and confused

So you know that some people are non-binary – but do you know that these common (and harmful) myths about them are false?

A bunch of Post-It notes lie on a table with question marks and "Right?" and "Wrong?" written on them

This author’s actually glad to have this conversation about the mistakes you’re making as an ally – because learning is what it’s all about. Here’s to more growth!

Person with their hand on their head, indicating embarrassment at making a mistake

No ally is “perfect” – so like this author, you’ve probably made some mistakes. This author’s getting real about his missteps, and we can all learn from the lessons he took away from them.

Should the LGBTQIA+ acronym include an “A” for “ally”? Here’s why allies don’t belong in the acronym – and where they should be instead.

A group of people at a racial justice rally

If your white anti-racism allyship is more about talking the talk than walking the walk, then people of color need you to reevaluate and come back when your anti-racism is a lifestyle commitment. Learn how.

How do you handle conversations on police violence and racism? This list can help, with info on structural racism, allyship, self-care for Black folks, and more.

A person in a blue shirt is looking into a mirror; the expression on their face is neutral.

We weren’t expecting this article to take the turn that it did – but it helped us reevaluate our internalized oppression, so we’re sure glad it did.

“We all deserve equal rights!” These words help white people feel comfortable with change – but this shows how they normalize white supremacy more than they challenge it.

I have been reflecting a lot lately on how I can be a better ally. And as we wade our way into 2015, I suppose now is as good a time as any to consider some ways that any person who wishes to act accountably as an ally can do better in 2015. So here’s my list of 30 ways that those of us who strive to act in solidarity and allyship (most notably inclusive of myself) can be better allies.

How can white allies know how when to speak up and when to step back? Get some tips with this look at the Macklemore “White Privilege II” debate, and at Sam Smith, Iggy Azalea, and other white artists influenced by black music.

If you’re not going to support marginalized folks, then we can’t be friends, let alone date. The personal is political.

This article was originally published on The Huffington Post and republished here with the author’s permission. What does it mean to be a white ally for racial justice? Is it sharing a Jordan Edwards hashtag on twitter? Publicly decrying a lack of judicial justice every time a Black man is murdered by the police? Passing…

These people who fetishize trans women and pose as allies may use flowery social justice language – but something’s very wrong with this picture.

A person wearing black against a gray background

Ever come across a “social experiment” of non-Muslim women wearing the hijab for a day? Here’s why these efforts are missing the mark on solidarity – and what this hijabi really goes through every day.

Ever been called out for hurtful language? We see this all the time – someone gets called out for using a common ableist word, and responds with dismissal. Kat Blaque has what you need to know to move past the discomfort and make a change.

When you’re a white person in an interracial relationship, you can’t be a supportive partner without acknowledging white supremacy. Here’s how to practice allyship in your relationship.

“How do you know you’re a man?” If you’re cisgender, you probably don’t realize how ridiculous some of the things said to trans people sound. This hilarious video makes it so clear.