(Content Warning: Sexual assault) Have you ever ignored something awful because saying something would cause a scene? Women are taught to put people at ease and be liked – but this can make us prioritize the comfort of others over our own needs. This article can inspire you to do the opposite: to make a scene when it’s necessary to take care of your needs. You deserve to take care of you.
This author, like so many of us who spend our time fighting sexism, was charged with wanting to be a victim. Is it true? We do often seek to acknowledge the horrifying truth of how our culture mistreats women and other marginalized folks. But that doesn’t mean you’re “playing the victim.” Here’s some affirmation of how far that is from the truth.
How we signal our displeasure to someone matters, because it is in our attempts to cause harm that we reveal how we really feel about who they are. I take “bitch” more seriously than other insults because it attempts to use a piece of my identity – my femaleness – as a weapon. Reclamation projects aside, we all need to carefully consider when and why we take aim with a B-bomb.
I’ll be the first to admit that in the roster of my personal values, “tradition” and “convention” are solidly near the bottom of my list. Consequently, my gut reaction to engagement rings is bafflement. Of all the customs surrounding weddings, why is one of the most revered symbols of marriage a tangible reminder of the sexist history of the institution?
How can I pick what to watch without feeling like I’m condoning all of the sexist hoopla draped all over the majority of videos I might choose? Masturbation isn’t supposed to be this morally fraught, right? If it’s such a hassle, you might say, why not forgo the pornography parade altogether? It’s pretty simple: I like porn. The porn industry, on the other hand, is a whole different beast.
Some women (and men) derive tremendous joy from makeup, and to them I say, continue on your merry way. But if your make-up use is driven by fear that what you were born with is not enough, that if only your lashes were longer, or your lips pinker, then people would be better to you and good things would happen – to hell with that. You’re way too cool for that.