It’s important to let people know when they say or do something racist, but too often we end up telling people they ARE racist instead. This allows them to deflect accountability for their words and focus on defending their character. In this video, Jay Smooth offers strategies and metaphors for how to call people in for their racist actions in a constructive way.

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It seems like every time a woman finds herself in a threatening or unsafe situation, people are quick to explain all the steps she should have taken to avoid getting there. It’s like there’s an extensive and ever-changing list of rules that women must follow in order to deserve safety and respect. Check out this tongue-in-cheek video about this ridiculous notion.

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In this week’s video headline, Jay Smooth explains the two ways to approach calling someone out on their racist commentary. He demonstrates why one is effective, why the other derails conversation, and how to recognize the difference. He posits that there is a difference between saying, “you did something racist,” and “you are a racist,” and encourages you to stick to the first approach.

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