Search results for: intimate partner violence

A recent study finds that girls who’ve suffered sexual harassment often see it as “normal stuff” that “just happens” because it’s what “guys do.” Translation: they frame their own experiences of harassment based on cultural notions about what gender and sexuality are — or should be. Sad, then, isn’t it, that those cultural notions are often bullshit.

Ending sexual violence involves an “all for one, one for all” attitude toward rape culture. Sexual violence is not a special interest issue, but rather a social justice issue that affects everyone. We all take part in rape culture and are affected by rape culture. And we can (and should) all be part of the solution. So, how can communities do right by survivors?

As with all other systems of oppression, rape culture is a beast with tentacles and spores across countless other facets of inequality. The following 3 things may not appear to be major components of rape culture at first glance, but undoubtedly fuel and are fueled by it. Dismantling and addressing these things must be part of our movement to end rape culture.

Half of the battle in addressing bullying is getting people to understand the particular nature of modern bullying, particularly in its connection to power, oppression, and identity. But understanding the problem does not necessarily inspire action. So we have to provide tools that empower communities to resolve the problem. Here are five ways to do this!

(Trigger warning: rape.) Like most college freshmen, I drank too much. And one night, I drank too much and was pitched out of a frat house in the dead of winter. I woke up in my lofted bed. My clothing was on the floor, and I felt an invisible miasma of shame engulfing me. And my coping mechanism was to make my rapist my partner, giving purpose and intent to something horrible.

From adolescents to professional musicians, it seems as though the public at large has received a serious miseducation in discerning a true ‘yes’ from an implicit ‘no.’ So let me break it down for you. There is a connection between getting someone drunk to have sex and slipping someone drugs to have sex. Either way, consent is not possible. Either way, it is attempted rape.

“Why can’t we tell young women how to keep themselves safer?” Because for decades, survivors have been attacked, blamed, and shamed with questions and comments like, “What did you expect? You were drunk.” But is it possible to help women be safer without engaging in victim blaming? I think so. Here’s what we’ve learned about helping women and members of other oppressed groups claim their power.

The depiction of rape in the media is not an inherently bad thing. But it is a bad thing when rape is part of a story line just for entertainment, for added suspense and sparkle. When television shows like Law & Order: SVU use and capitalize on rape as a means to allure viewers, the “featured” rape story becomes reduced to a mere gimmick, which is troubling and offensive.

Chivalry refers to all of its historical relevance. It carries the weight of patriarchal male privilege and female subordination dichotomies. And as such, if taken with all of its historical context and breadth of connotation, can be considered to be a part of rape culture. And if you’re not trying to bring up all that jazz, then maybe chivalry simply isn’t the word you’re looking for.

In the not-so-distant past, I learned that someone I knew had sexually assaulted a former coworker of his. This man had been someone that I had trusted. Knowing or caring about someone who is a sexual predator is going to be a difficult position to be in for anyone. It can cause any number of reactions and feelings that might be unexpected. And it isn’t something that we are talking about.

I watched her heels walk into the living room, where she deposited me on the floor. She straddled me, put her face close to mine. It isn’t supposed to be something that happens to men, and certainly not by women. People don’t whistle at me from cars or assume I’m weak. I did the wrong thing by not talking about my experience when it happened, for the same reasons many people never come forward.

Feminists are well-aware that there are women who make false allegations of rape. Yes. It happens. It’s not a secret that we’re keeping from anyone. But only 2-7% of reports are false and only 46% of rapes are ever reported. Here’s why focusing on the possibility of false accusations for all cases prevent justice from happening for most cases.

For many sexual assault survivors, the way that their community responds is as traumatic as their assaults. We’re in a unique cultural moment where this problem is getting national attention, and it’s imperative that we take advantage. The question to ask ourselves is: Where does our country go from here? FORCE says we need to create public spaces where the experiences of survivors are honored.

I stood up for myself for what felt like the first time in my life. I defended myself. I put my foot down and made a pact with every punch, every kick, every stride I took through that desert that never again would I compromise my own potential, health, and safety to be obliging to someone who does not deserve me. I’ve learned how to apply feminism. It is a new era.

With this time of year comes an increase in street harassment. So let me say it plainly to my male-identified people out there: Street harassment and leering are never okay. It’s all harassment. It’s all misogyny. And it all needs to stop. And since men are the primary perpetrators of street harassment, men bear the responsibility for ending it.

Rape jokes are just not funny. They can be traumatizing and anyone around you may be a survivor without you knowing it. To see why these jokes continue, we need to understand how sexual violence is made insignificant and normalized, the ways we contribute to rape culture, and how to address people who make them. And most importantly, we need to take care of ourselves when it happens.

Through my Women’s Studies courses and readings, I’ve come to better understand my abusive boyfriend and what was behind his emotional and physical violence toward me. Most importantly, I was reassured that his actions were not my fault, something that I struggled with during and for a time after the relationship. And it has been such a relief knowing I’m not the only one who has been through this. (Trigger Warning)