Paying attention to how you use your words is core to keeping the relationship you have with yourself healthy. By cutting certain words and phrases out of my vernacular, I’ve created more space for more positive thoughts and feelings. Letting go of limiting speech has helped me like myself more – because now I’m not criticizing who I am at every turn. And that’s helped me make myself a priority.

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I was about 17 when I stopped blaming my body for the disablist discrimination I experienced and learned about the social model. For myself, I prefer to view the world as a person with an impairment who is disabled by the society we live in because of all the barriers that are put in our way. This shift radically changed how I thought about my own body.

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Being an ally is difficult, especially as a heterosexual cis male. The pressures of (traditional notions of) masculinity and a lifetime of systematic patriarchal training are difficult to overcome. So I have compiled four pieces of advice — based on my own experiences and slip-ups — to help all cis males (myself included) become open feminists and allies.

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