You know that not only does domestic violence in the trans community play out in slightly different ways, but trans survivors often face obstacles when trying to access resources. It’s not easy to approach a loved one about their abusive relationship. But you don’t need to be an expert. You just need to be there.

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From birth, those of us with privileged identities, such as being a man or white, are socialized to believe that all the opportunities we get are a result of individual merit. This is the fuel with which the oppression monster feeds itself, and it is something that we feminists — especially those of us who are white feminists — must unlearn to truly combat oppression.

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I get particularly unnerved when I can’t readily identify the fix-a-feeling brew for a loved one’s emotional ailment. But I’ve learned over the years that every bit of the energy you create with your friend as they work through their emotional struggle, can serve as part of their elixir for healing their hurt – if you can just be there without fixating on the fix.

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