I’ll be the first to admit that in the roster of my personal values, “tradition” and “convention” are solidly near the bottom of my list. Consequently, my gut reaction to engagement rings is bafflement. Of all the customs surrounding weddings, why is one of the most revered symbols of marriage a tangible reminder of the sexist history of the institution?

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I didn’t identify as a feminist when I first met my partner seven years ago. But as I became more comfortable identifying as a feminist, I began to feel wary about coming out as a feminist to one of the closest people in my life – my partner. Feminism likely changed your perception of the world and yourself, so share your new perspective. Feminism is a conversation. Don’t be afraid to start one.

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Whether it’s a minor, annoying habit or a downright socially problematic behavior, I’m sure your partner has done or said something that made you vomit in your mouth a little bit. It can be daunting to tell others how to treat you. But you owe it to your sense of self-worth and the stability of your relationship to communicate when your partner does something that upsets you.

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I am proud to be an Asian woman and to look the way that I do. My issue with being an Asian woman and trying to date has less to do with my perception of myself, and everything to do with the way I am treated and perceived by men, specifically non-Asian men. Settling for being treated like nothing more than an exotic souvenir gets really old really fast.

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