Search results for: self love

Many of us have been wounded by the violent patriarchal, heteronormative, and racist structures that are the pillars of capitalism, empire, and colonization. Many of us long to be free. Healing ourselves — body, spirit, and mind — is essential to feminism. We must bring radical love back to the center of our movements. Radical self-love and self-care are central components to social justice.

Now, although I love investing emotionally in movies, I am always cognizant that they show the before and after transformation quickly, never expounding upon the work that it takes to reach the end goal. And I always recognized that this part was unrealistic. But it made me wonder: How was I supposed to figure out what I wanted to be? How was I supposed to achieve it?

Paying attention to how you use your words is core to keeping the relationship you have with yourself healthy. By cutting certain words and phrases out of my vernacular, I’ve created more space for more positive thoughts and feelings. Letting go of limiting speech has helped me like myself more – because now I’m not criticizing who I am at every turn. And that’s helped me make myself a priority.

I can’t think of an instance where someone (a client, a friend, myself) hated something into changing. Not one. Single. Instance. It doesn’t create change. If anything, it only creates more stress. If you really want to change a habit, or a situation, or how you feel about yourself, the only route that will bring you any peace is to start with acceptance.

When you’re angry, the question isn’t about whether or not your feelings are valid – because they are. But rather: Is there a healthier way to respond? Anger is a perfectly healthy human emotion. But what you do with that anger can be hurtful. Here are some ways to identify our go-to reactions so that we can better prepare ourselves to make choices when it comes to our emotional expressions.

I had learned that it was “best” to seem healthier or present a plastic version than to reveal the real, hurting me. But inside, I felt fried, blitzed, scattered. At some point, I decided that I had had enough of that. It needed to stop. I needed to change. But I wasn’t even sure what my image of emotional healthiness was. Here are some ways I learned that worked for me and may work for you.

I went through a decade where I didn’t like much of anything about myself. I would sit for hours wondering what was wrong with me, why I wasn’t like so-and-so, or why I couldn’t just like myself. And then I got so fed up with not knowing how to change that I no longer cared that I didn’t know how to do it. I was going to do it anyway. And now, I want to share how I did it — in three reflective steps.

When we lose this comparison battle, we feel bad, jealous, envious, and less than whole. When we win the comparison battle, we feel a bit of satisfaction mixed with an underlying fear that we may have won this battle, but what if things change and we lose out next time? In essence, comparing yourself to others is always a losing game. So here’s how to stop comparing and start enjoying what you’ve got.