You searched for self love - Page 23 of 131 - Everyday Feminism

It is a very dangerous thing to define someone as good or bad, especially when that someone is young. Behaviors, choices, and actions can be good or bad, helpful or hurtful, well-meaning or malicious. Here’s why this shift in language is so important.

When you’re depressed, anxious, abused, and/or have been isolated your whole life, it’s easy to feel like other people can’t really ever get close. Socializing is really hard for people who’ve had nothing but abuse. And we keep waiting for someone healthy to save us. But they can’t. So how can we fight this process and end the cycle? Here are some ways to get started.

Teen and “tween” (that difficult, in-between age of 9-12) girls nowadays have it rough. Contrast this with the caveman era that I grew up in, that oh-so-long-ago decade known as the 1990s, in which girls could simply chillax and be themselves…kind of. But before we roll our eyes at the behavior of “kids these days,” we should at least consider how our adolescence was different.

Feminists today are highly concerned with language and its implications. Here at Everyday Feminism, we advise respectful discourse with the aim to uplift and educate one another. We’re aiming to improve your day-to-day lives. But if I’m going to be human and imperfect and slip up every once in a while, I’d at least like to do it in a quasi-feminist way.

Feminism addresses many specific issues, two of which are street harassment and a woman’s right to take up space in the world. But what do these two issues have in common? Check out this week’s video headline to find out! Watch Jessian Choy describe her experience with presenting herself as powerful and how it effectively worked to stop a particularly aggressive street harasser.

I recently wrote a piece on my personal blog that highlighted seven men who are transforming masculinity, and I was blown away by how well it resonated. In reflecting on the post, I realized that it was so popular because it touched on an unfilled need. We need to talk about what a more inclusive masculinity could actually look like beyond “Real men cry, too.”

When this woman looked at other women’s accomplishments, she felt worse about herself and criticizing them was her defense mechanism. Here’s why, and how, we can support rather than lament the success of other women.

If you’ve been (or are) closeted, you’re already aware that it’s not that fun. But there are things that can ease the burden.

Letting yourself be as you are is hard, but it’s also possible. Here are some techniques to help you through.

As a woman, you may feel like the world is flooding your mental inbox with constant messages of how to think, feel, and behave. And as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, it may seem as though everyone feels entitled to comment on your “lifestyle” as well. People have some rigid ideas of how both women and gay people should go about their lives. You don’t have to listen to a word of them.

Nobody wants to be a quitter. It’s a concept ingrained into the fabric of our social being. But what if my work environment is making me irritable, anxious, and unhealthy? Is it “wrong” to quit then? In some contexts, quitting is actually the best option. Leaving can be the end of something, sure. But it can also be the beginning of something else.

In our society, the child-father relationship is given more attention and revered. Consequently, when a mother-child relationship is damaged, adult children tend to cover-up and internalize the loss. So why is it important to foster positive relationships between daughters and mothers? And where do daughters begin to repair poor relationships with their mothers?

You’ve been taught, over and over again, that people’s opinions of you matter. You’ve been taught that if someone thinks you’re too fat, or too loud, or too smart, or too dumb, or too whatever, or not enough whatever, that they get to have a say in how you feel about yourself. But today I’d like to introduce you to the deep spiritual practice of not giving a shit.

When I hear people discussing the Stay-at-Home Mom/Work-Out-of-Home Mom dichotomy, I feel incredibly disjointed from the conversation. I divide up my priorities between paying the bills, quality learning, and loving time with my son and that is my self-actualization. For me, parenting as a feminist is doing what is best based on your values, regardless of adversity or public opinion.

High heels, short skirts, and bold lipstick might look amazing on some women, but those things make me feel vulnerable. Like I’m seeking attention. And for whatever reason, the idea of strangers acknowledging me in a sexual way when I feel like it seems like that’s what I want makes me genuinely uncomfortable. I just happen to feel sexiest in a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt.

As a gay man, you have male privilege but being gay complicates that, making you seem less-than in many people’s eyes. Many bigots see you as being like a woman or wanting to be a woman, which some gay men will internalize as negative. Feminism looks at that thought and says, “What’s wrong with being a woman?” I needed to hear that message at 18, and I still need to hear it now.

I was groped at work by a woman. My immediate response was to pretend it never happened. My solution was to hold myself responsible and try to “learn from the experience” and “do better in the future.” If that’s how I handled a minor transgression, what must the cultural shame for a major one feel like? But the truth is, she never should have groped me. And I still have trouble believing that.

Just say “no” – it’s easy to say, difficult to do. We’ve been socialized to value other people’s needs and feelings, often more than our own. So much so that many of us have a hard time knowing what we feel and want in any given situation. But the beauty of having a firm “no” is that it allows you to say “yes” to the things you do want in your life. So here’s some tips on how to say “no.”

People who don’t know I’m a survivor of domestic violence may be shocked. I’m a strong, loud-mouthed woman and a proud feminist. How could this happen to me? And yet to my horror, it did. Domestic violence can strike any of us. If you are being abused by your intimate partner, remember that you deserve better. You deserve love and respect. We all do. (Trigger Warning)

People usually tell me to “get over it” when I’m being vulnerable, insecure, or afraid. They think you shouldn’t bother or aren’t interested in your feelings. “Get over it” is a cruel phrase. It means, “Not only do I not care about how you feel, if you were smarter, you wouldn’t care either.”