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It goes without saying that dating as a feminist is no easy feat. The dating compromises that one makes along the way can feel deeply at odds with your personal feminist politics. It can feel like you’re betraying feminism. But there are helpful ways to frame these challenges, and relieve some headache and heartache. Here are three of my tips to dating as a feminist.

Two years ago, I identified as a cisgender queer woman. I was a diehard feminist who claimed intersectionality and assimilated into white hipster culture, which meant that I was oblivious and nonchalant toward the problematic nature of my environment 99% of the time. Around this time, I co-led a feminist organization that claimed to be…

I’ve had this experience a million times. It’s one of the complicated realities that come along with being a progressive-minded person: The jokes just aren’t as funny anymore. When we can see the humanity behind the people who these jokes target, and when we understand the implications of the privileged laughing at the marginalized, we lose our ability to laugh at their expense.

Have you ever smiled when you wanted to scream? This poet may not look like the false “angry Black woman” stereotype, but she’s not smiling because she’s happy. Find out why in this gorgeous spoken word piece, as Sabine Quetant shares the truth about the burden of facing the world’s misconceptions about her from the time she was a child. Check it out here.

A red sign reads, in white, "Fragile: Handle with Care"

Have you participated in white fragility? This author’s calling in her fellow white allies who put their feelings before racial justice, or say things like “not all white people.” All white allies could use this info on how to do better.

“Can I touch your hair?” is only the beginning. Many of these phrases are meant as “compliments,” but Amandla Stenberg and some of her brilliant friends are breaking down exactly why they’re hurtful. What would you add to the list?

“How could I not fall in love with my illness?” This is how it feels to go from being the girl everyone calls “fat” to the one congratulated for her weight loss – weight lost to an eating disorder.

I knew dying my hair turquoise would draw some attention. Why else would I dye it such a bold colour? I like being different, I like standing out, and I like being unapologetic for who I am. But I didn’t expect it would attract the disgusted looks, unwanted photographs, and sheer hostility that it did.

When Tim learned his girlfriend, Marina, had been sexually assaulted, he saw how sex was scary for her. They decided to work through the sexual trauma from her rape together (Trigger Warning).

You’ve been taught, over and over again, that people’s opinions of you matter. You’ve been taught that if someone thinks you’re too fat, or too loud, or too smart, or too dumb, or too whatever, or not enough whatever, that they get to have a say in how you feel about yourself. But today I’d like to introduce you to the deep spiritual practice of not giving a shit.

“You minorities always make a big deal out of nothing – I’m sure it’s not hard to handle!” When you’re not society’s “default,” you have a big burden to carry. This cartoon proves how privileged identities are normalized.

Have you ever talked to a doctor about your hormones? The way you were treated probably depends on if you’re cisgender or not. This comic reveals the biases too many medical professionals have.

Source: iStock

Myths about intimate partner violence include thinking survivors should “just leave,” and doubting whether emotional abuse is “enough” to give someone PTSD. This author’s story puts those myths to rest.

This summary about racist police brutality lets the facts speak for themselves – and they show loud and clear why you should be outraged by the killing of Alton Sterling and other victims.

“Crying forever,” I wrote on Facebook after updating my relationship status to Single. That’s how I felt – like the tears would never stop. I’d been through break-ups before; the pain didn’t last forever. But that’s hard to remember when you’re in the midst of it. It’s hard to remember that the only way out is through. So let me guide you through the layers of Hell known as The Stages of Grief.

A person wearing dark-rimmed glasses, looking puzzled as they put their index finger to their cheek.

“Then you should stop speaking English and wearing jeans!” This response to cultural appropriation is so common – and so misguided. Here’s what you’re missing if you think people of color can appropriate white cultures.

“But where are you really from?” This is just one example of how your words can invalidate people’s identities – make sure you know what to avoid saying and why, so we can all move on to deeper conversations.

On a chalkboard, a fork, knife, and a plate with a question mark is drawn

Unhealthy “tips” about food are so common that a lot of us have disordered eating patterns and we don’t even know it. Do these signs apply to your eating habits?

Two cartoon women are holding hands, explaining something to people in shadows

Perpetuating this mainstream coming-out narrative can bring a lot of problems, especially for people who don’t have mainstream privileges. It even hurts people who do. We need to broaden our focus towards resisting the system-wide oppression we all face – and breaking free of a problematic narrative. So let’s unpack some of the harmful myths of this mainstream narrative.

Wait – what does acne have to do with feminism? Celia Edell breaks down some common struggles that reveal the answer, and what it means for you.