Every day, our children are shown the gender box they are expected to live inside of and are encouraged to shrink down the parts of themselves that don’t fit that narrow mold. If we truly want our children to succeed in this world, they need our help to smash open the very boxes we’ve constructed for them – to claim their place, their voice, and their power. But how?

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The knight in shining armor who saves the damsel in distress: sound familiar? Probably, since it’s one of the most popular narratives in history. And it can lead to some pretty messed up thoughts on healthy relationships. If you consider being saved romantic, or saving someone else heroic, you may have a savior complex. And it may be ruining your relationship.

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I was groped at work by a woman. My immediate response was to pretend it never happened. My solution was to hold myself responsible and try to “learn from the experience” and “do better in the future.” If that’s how I handled a minor transgression, what must the cultural shame for a major one feel like? But the truth is, she never should have groped me. And I still have trouble believing that.

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In the not-so-distant past, I learned that someone I knew had sexually assaulted a former coworker of his. This man had been someone that I had trusted. Knowing or caring about someone who is a sexual predator is going to be a difficult position to be in for anyone. It can cause any number of reactions and feelings that might be unexpected. And it isn’t something that we are talking about.

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( Trigger Warning) Domestic violence, dating violence, relationship violence — it’s not something we like or know how to talk about. Or perhaps more accurately, it’s not something we know how to talk about, especially when it’s happening to someone we love. But it’s important we learn how to talk about it in ways that actually help them, which is far more difficult than you may think.

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The winter holidays are upon us and whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or Yule you are probably going to be giving a gift sometime this month. Children are bombarded with limiting, negative messages in the media but you can buy gifts that show a different way to think about the world. For help, check out our list of gifts for the under 10 year feminist crowd.

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