Holidays. While most people look forward to the time off, seeing family and friends, and all the delicious food that usually comes with them, if you’re in recovery, that last one can be quite the challenge. It’s something I struggled with a lot while I was still in recovery, so I thought I’d share some of the things that got me through difficult times.

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About one year ago, I lost my job. The 6 months it took me to find a new position changed me, and maybe more importantly, it informed my feminism. It also brought me face-to-face with my own privilege. Having a “career” instead of a “job” is a privilege. Benefits, health insurance, and a living wage are all privileges, too – and I no longer take them for granted.

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There’s no winning, because “no soy de aquí, ni soy de allá.” Luckily, I no longer feel like I have to prove my identity to anyone. Because being Latina is a multidimensional experience. I love my Puerto Rican roots, but I’m also not ashamed that I’ve acculturated into American society. And to my second- and third-generation Latinos, you shouldn’t be either. After all, you’re still Latino.

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It’s so tempting to boil aging down into some bleak list of things you can’t do any more. It’s weird how quickly we adjust to and accept the daily paring away of our physical prowess. But that youthful self is still vibrant within me, and I’m working to bring the essence of him forward in some form, a gift to the old man I’ll become in fifteen years or so.

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Sometimes I feel like we’re living our entire lives and viewing our whole world through a camera lens – including ourselves. And yet, on the bright side, I also see it as an interesting opportunity to reclaim your self-image. I think that if you go with it, you can actually use things like selfies as tools to improve your body image – and your overall self-esteem.

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Steubenville is a horrific example of the bystander effect. But what if your kid is a bystander to teasing, to name calling, to social ostracizing – behaviors that some refer to as “kids being kids?” Have you addressed that? Are you sure you’ve modeled the proper way not to stand by? Let’s look at some ways parents might inadvertently be supporting bystanders.

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As the author of a book called “gender-neutral” parenting, it might sound like I would argue that buying a “girls only” toy is sexist and teaches kids the wrong thing. It is easy to focus on how well the toy fits into the stereotypes of the pink aisle at the toy store instead of how it breaks the mold of the pink aisle. So here’s why I think that toys like Goldie Blox can be good ideas.

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A key component in battling rape culture is encouraging survivors to speak out about their experiences. This can be beneficial not only for the cause, but also for individual survivors as they heal. But the strong focus on story-telling has an unfortunate side-effect. Let’s learn more about why focusing on survivor stories as inspiration can actually be damaging and how to avoid doing that.

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From adolescents to professional musicians, it seems as though the public at large has received a serious miseducation in discerning a true ‘yes’ from an implicit ‘no.’ So let me break it down for you. There is a connection between getting someone drunk to have sex and slipping someone drugs to have sex. Either way, consent is not possible. Either way, it is attempted rape.

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Ever take a moment to think about what you’ve learned? Check out this video and you’ll be glad Aja Monet did just that. At 19, she was the youngest person ever to win the Nuyorican Poets Grandslam Championship title, and she continues to inspire with her words. This imaginative short film reflects on what we can learn from the struggles of childhood, poverty, and survival.

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Fat shaming is very detrimental to a person’s health, mental well-being, and relationship to their body. Eating disorders are also very detrimental to a person’s health, mental well-being, and relationship to their body. Dealing with both of these at the same time? Unbelievably difficult. But we have to learn how to effectively deal with it. Recovery is possible.

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