You searched for 5 ways to avoid common ally pitfalls - Page 4 of 14 - Everyday Feminism

Self-care is a revolutionary act when living in a world that tells us we—especially those of us with marginalized identities—are not worthy of care, forgiveness, and gentleness. It allows us to fight back against oppression by affirming that yes, we do deserve to feel good. We are inherently worthy of care and attention, and we shouldn’t feel guilty for it.

We can’t believe we’re still having to explain these things – but we’re glad this author’s putting them all in one place. What else do you wish was common knowledge by now?

She is my partner. She is not my girlfriend. Choosing to use the word “partner” is somewhat political, but it is also very personal. I choose to use “partner” to not only indicate to society that I desire equality in my relationship, but more importantly, to indicate to my partner that, above all else, I unconditionally respect her as a completely autonomous and equal companion.

Ever come across a social justice issue that didn’t seem like a problem to you? This comic breaks down why people say things like “we’ve got bigger fish to fry” – and why they need to stop.

“What’s the big deal? It’s a compliment!” If you knew what we have to do to navigate street harassment, you’d have a hard time dismissing the problem – so here are some examples.

Couple in bed, experiencing sexual difficulties

This author gets a lot of questions from cisgender men about sex with cisgender women – and he’s noticed how much sex ed is to blame for the information gaps. Here are the important missing details.

Any time sexual assault is brought up, chances are there will be voices complaining that “if they were really raped, they should go to the police.” But that is far from fair. There are many reasons people don’t involve the police, none of which have to do with whether or not a rape actually happened. Here are eight barriers that keep survivors from reporting.

Person in bed, being sexual

Have you heard of “the orgasm gap?” Some people say it’s harder for women to have orgasms – but these statistics and cultural norms will convince you that there’s more to the story.

As this video demonstrates, racist acts are protected by the people who silently witness those instances without interfering. Not engaging lets oppressive folks know that they can continue their behavior and reminds the oppressed that they aren’t welcome, safe, or valued. So, when you notice racism happening, even if you’re scared, be an ally and shut it down.

Young women get all kinds of messages that can make your sexual awakening a bewildering and painful time. Here’s a healthier message.

So many of these are gender norms we don’t even think twice about. But have you thought about what it means to do all this work for free?

Portrait of four happy pregnant women are looking at the camera.

Research shows that we’ve got to change the tone of the conversations we’re having about teen parenthood. Here’s how you can support young families.

It was universal the dehumanized way people on Food Stamps are made to feel so in that aspect it is difficult to live on Food Stamps. Well the stigmatization ends for me. I refuse to hang my head for supplementing my husband’s income with SNAP.

When I first told people that my husband was having an affair, I got a few different reactions. Some blamed me for his infidelity; others thought I was weak to consider staying. But I don’t think these are the only options. Here’s what I want you to know if you are ever involved in or asked to support a friend in a painful infidelity aftermath.

It’s the first date! Should you have sex? If you struggle with questions about things like commitment and rejection, this simple flow chart can help.

The urge to pull at your hair or pick at your skin – does this sound familiar to you or anyone you know? This comic has what you need to know about trichotillomania and excoriation disorder (also known as dermatillomania).

How many of these comments have you encountered in your life? This is 80 years of sexism in just under two minutes – it’s painful to watch, but we’re glad these girls and women spoke their truth.

It can be hard to know how to be a good ally. Do you have more ideas to add to Hannah’s list?

People who don’t know I’m a survivor of domestic violence may be shocked. I’m a strong, loud-mouthed woman and a proud feminist. How could this happen to me? And yet to my horror, it did. Domestic violence can strike any of us. If you are being abused by your intimate partner, remember that you deserve better. You deserve love and respect. We all do. (Trigger Warning)

If you think you know queer femmes, but you’re making any of these assumptions, then you don’t know them as well as you think. This comic will challenge your misconceptions and show you why these assumptions are harmful.