When women express discomfort with sexism, men in particular jump to the conclusion that they must be man haters to make such a fuss. This seems to be the primary deterrent preventing women from speaking out against sexism. But here’s the thing: Being against sexism is not the same thing as being against men. Let’s debunk five myths about this misconception.

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Most men don’t want to be sexist. But because our culture privileges them — especially white, cisgender, straight men, they benefit from and often participate in sexism without even knowing it. And if they don’t recognize that, they can hurt other people – if unintentionally. So let’s break down how you can recognize and stop “subtle” sexism in your life.

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We all have that one person in our life who matters a great deal to us, is a tolerant and good-hearted individual, but who doesn’t quite understand why feminism is still important. Jessica Valenti offers suggestions about how to approach these individuals, how to argue that feminism does matter, and how to maintain some semblance of inner peace as you do this.

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On average, women in the US are still paid considerably less than men. This we know. But the reasons for the wage gap are, apparently, still up for debate. Plenty of people will try to argue that the reason is not actually sexism — that the real reason is that they don’t ask for raises. This comic by Lefty Cartoons puts this distraction to rest.

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There are all sorts of ways to be a feminist in today’s world. If we erased all the ways in which we are different, we would lose so much strength in the movement. We won’t end sexism without addressing all oppressions; we can’t work together until we agree that none of us are free until we’re all free. But how can we work together at this point?

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Person holding out a bouquet of roses

Nice guys, we know you’re out there. Misogynistic Nice Guys™ have earned a bad reputation, but there’s a difference between them and men who are genuinely respectful. But did you know there’s also a difference between being nice and being an ally to women’s causes? Here’s what you need to know to avoid the unintentional sexism that can come with gender socialization.

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Is Kim Kardashian a vocal trendsetter? You might associate her and other young women with certain speaking styles, like vocal fry or uptalk – the “valley girl” accent. And you may not be surprised that studies show negative opinions of women who talk this way. But do you know about the underlying functions of this communication style? It’s deeper than you might think.

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“I just don’t get along with girls. They’re all so catty and bitchy.” Chances are, you’ve heard that before. But have you ever thought about the implications of saying this? Watch as Angelina LB discusses the absurdity of writing off an entire group of people, the hypocrisy involved when it’s a group you’re a part of, and how internalized sexism only breeds further sexism.

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