Terms like “ladylike” are in line with equally absurd terms like “acting Black” that lump behavior onto a particular group of people in an effort to reinforce dominant society’s assertion of what is considered desirable and acceptable social protocol. So here are my four top reasons for steering clear of labels and social graces when it comes to my daughters.

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Person with their fingers crossed, hoping

You’re giddy with excitement for your first date with another woman! So don’t let narrow expectations of what relationships “should” be get you down. Take these tips on everything from what to wear to how to make a perfect plan. These are the keys to breaking down heteronormativity and building up meaningful relationships – full of respect and a whole lot of fun.

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When someone wants to tear apart my writing, they often bring up my presumed gender to do so. My presumed femaleness is never mentioned with respect. They say, “Stop being so easily offended, b*tch.” Femaleness is used to discredit me in a way that maleness is not. When I’m presumed male, my maleness never comes up at all. Because maleness is our societal default setting, it’s never mentioned.

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There’s no shortage of outcries from those who believe that selfies are the pinnacle of the passive narcissism and self-indulgence facilitated by social media. But we need to start teaching girls that confidence is not a sign of vanity, but a marker of healthy self perception and positive thinking. Break out your camera and start snapping. Embrace yourself.

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How we signal our displeasure to someone matters, because it is in our attempts to cause harm that we reveal how we really feel about who they are. I take “bitch” more seriously than other insults because it attempts to use a piece of my identity – my femaleness – as a weapon. Reclamation projects aside, we all need to carefully consider when and why we take aim with a B-bomb.

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You don’t need me to tell you that words have meaning. So it should come as no surprise that the words we use as activists matter, too. The way we describe our movements, allies, and opponents are loaded with meaning, and it is our responsibility as feminists to be mindful of the ways in which we wield this power. So how can we use our words to make change?

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Vlogger Marina Watanabe with a disappointed expression on her face, beside the words "Myths About Police Brutality."

It’s happened again – a Black man, Walter Scott, gunned down by a police officer claiming self-defense. So we’re bound to have the same conversations again, asking: is police brutality about systemic racism or a few bad cops? Rather than going in circles with the same debates, we need to put some harmful, widely-believed myths to rest. Here’s the truth about police brutality.

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In our society, the child-father relationship is given more attention and revered. Consequently, when a mother-child relationship is damaged, adult children tend to cover-up and internalize the loss. So why is it important to foster positive relationships between daughters and mothers? And where do daughters begin to repair poor relationships with their mothers?

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Rape jokes are just not funny. They can be traumatizing and anyone around you may be a survivor without you knowing it. To see why these jokes continue, we need to understand how sexual violence is made insignificant and normalized, the ways we contribute to rape culture, and how to address people who make them. And most importantly, we need to take care of ourselves when it happens.

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This article was originally published on The Establishment and republished here with the author’s permission. I came out as fat to myself about five years ago. I also came out as bisexual to myself around the same time. Both were gradual and mutual processes. “I think that there is a coming out process around being fat that…

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Person laying in bed with their hands over their face in frustration

You can probably think of more than a few reasons why the image of the hot, hypersexual Latina is a tired stereotype. Here’s an alarming one: that stereotype forces asexual Latinas to battle dangerous racialized and sexist messages that say their bodies are not their own. Read on for this stunning perspective that gives us more reason to put this myth to rest.

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