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If you do social justice work, you’ve undoubtedly suffered your fair share of abuse. And if you’ve been vocal about it, people have likely told you that “you must be doing something right” if people are angry. And I get their point. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel comforting. Here are some reasons why you might want to drop “you must be doing something right!”

Person looking down, as if sad

You might think you’re being helpful when you comment on other people’s bodies, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Feminine-presenting person explaining something to someone masculine-presenting

It’s not that the misguided ally is a bad person. We know they don’t want to hurt us. But they do. And until misguided allies learn the error in their ways, the true work of activism and allyship cannot be done. Fortunately, there are a few activist communication hacks for dealing with the misguided allies we’ll all inevitably encounter. Read on for five.

Person looking sad

We can relate to this – solidarity in our movements, but hurting each other in our personal lives. Can you?

Four people sit around a table, involved in an intense discussion.

“#1: The current system isn’t working.” What does it take to change abusive behavior? Restorative justice is an alternative to the criminal justice system, and here’s how it can help.

There are lots of ways to be a great “ally” – and innumerable ways to be a terrible one. But it’s not rocket science. There are simple things you can keep in mind and do in order to be a better person “currently operating in solidarity with” the marginalized or oppressed. And while this list is not comprehensive, it’s definitely somewhere to start. So “allies,” let’s talk.

Conversations about privilege can quickly go wrong, angry, and defensive. Here are a few things to consider before jumping into the conversation around privilege.

Think anyone can spend time in nature if they’re motivated enough? Think again – here are a few ways that having privilege gives you more access to outdoor fun.

Do you think ending a relationship with an abusive partner is just a matter of packing up and leaving? Many do but it’s not that simple. We need to abandon the idea if we want to help survivors feel empowered. Here’s six reasons why survivors might stay in their relationships, and why we should stop shaming people who are in need of our support.

Police officer talking into a radio and standing next to a police car

Many Black and Black-allied people in the US are enraged with the police. We think if you read these historical and contemporary truths, you’ll be angry, too.

One younger person in the forefront, looking concerned; two older people are in the background, watching them.

Tired of the same old movie about a gay white kid overcoming their family’s disapproval? If you’re queer and Asian, you’ll appreciate this author’s take on how those narratives don’t fit your needs.

Have you ever blamed yourself for being catcalled? A stunning perspective on carrying shame from street harassment.

If you’re an intersex person trying to survive, it can be tough finding medical care and other resources. This author gets it – and these tips can help.

“Being taken seriously meant looking the part of a well-off person.” We’re taught that wealthy people are more deserving of respect – are any of these ideas about class and “looking rich” familiar to you?

If you’re an activist who spends time online, you know exactly what this author’s talking about – and these messages will be a breath of fresh air.

A group of University of Missouri protestors

Conservatives are making a disgusting attempt to smear activists of color on college campuses. Here are the lies they’re telling – and why you shouldn’t fall for them.

We’re cringing at that trailer for “Rough Night.” But despite messages that you have to hate your fatness, these are some of the many reasons not to.

Going to the gynecologist, as a trans man in a transphobic world, can be an incredibly uncomfortable and verbally violent experience. Consequently, many men avoid getting necessary medical services like pap smears—which could lead to a completely different discomfort. Here’s some advice on how to safely negotiate your pap test as a trans man.

A person stepping onto a bathroom scale

We’re body-positive, but when it comes to our own bodies, it’s hard to shake off society’s body-shaming messages. Can you relate? These strategies can help you stay positive through your own body’s changes.

If the ultimate goal is to get someone to change their problematic behavior, then we need to be intentional and strategic about how we encourage people to do that, especially other activists. How do we, as people with shared goals for social justice, hold each other accountable? In addition to calling people out, we can also call each other in when we mess up.