She is my partner. She is not my girlfriend. Choosing to use the word “partner” is somewhat political, but it is also very personal. I choose to use “partner” to not only indicate to society that I desire equality in my relationship, but more importantly, to indicate to my partner that, above all else, I unconditionally respect her as a completely autonomous and equal companion.

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In parenting, the real issue isn’t that there are differences between genders, but how parents react to those differences. If we can identify areas where we may have a bias, we can direct our awareness there to overcome it or compensate for it. Let’s look at some ways to compensate for implicit bias in our parenting.

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I have gone from being a big, strong looking Black woman to being a young, lanky Black man. I have always carried with me both masculine and feminine energies, but I have often been forced to choose one over the other depending upon the space around me. The gender binary affects us all in detrimental ways. And while masculinity may seem to offer more room, it also has its limitations. We must make room for all genders to grow and move freely.

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Trying to parent outside the mainstream boy/girl binary can seem daunting to say the least. Some parents are turning to Gender Neutral Parenting, which focuses on not forcing any preconceived gender norms onto their child so they can find their own comfort spot on the continuum we call gender. But there’s a lot of myths and misconceptions out there, which we’ll break down here for you.

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