If Asians Said The Stuff White People Say

ASIAN MAN: Hey, so where are you from again?

WHITE MAN: Tennessee.

ASIAN MAN: No, where are you really from?

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ASIAN WOMAN: Oh my God! How do you eat with a fork and knife? That’s so hard! I could never do that!

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ASIAN WOMAN: Your English is great! Were you adopted?

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ASIAN MAN: So how come you only hang out with other white people?

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ASIAN WOMAN: You must be really bad at math.

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ASIAN MAN: Come on, guys! Don’t you have trouble telling white people apart? Like, I can’t tell you guys apart.

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ASIAN WOMAN: Hey, look at me! I’m white!

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ASIAN MAN: You know, you’re so unlucky you’re white because your people are just naturally fat.

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ASIAN WOMAN: Do you have a normal name too, or just your white name?

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ASIAN WOMAN: Ugh, are your parents, like, super white?

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ASIAN MAN: Hey, do you watch How I Met Your Mother? I’m so into white culture.

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ASIAN WOMAN: I love white accents. “Hey, I eat cheese!”

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ASIAN MAN: You know, I’ve been really into Western religions lately. I love how they’re so angry and uptight, you know? I decorated my whole house with crosses! …Who’s hungry?

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ASIAN WOMAN: You’re Italian? I love pasta! Mmm! A pizza pie! A pizza pie!

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ASIAN WOMAN: Your parents must have been super not strict. Did you just do whatever you wanted?

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ASIAN WOMAN: Oh my God, two forks? That would look totally cute in my hair!

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ASIAN WOMAN: I just love dating white guys because they’re so large and overbearing.

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ASIAN MAN: Hey, you know I’m really into white girls. Just white girls. Hey, where are you going? Come on. Come on, I bet you’re really opinionated. Probably a little dumb.

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ASIAN WOMAN: I have, like, kind of round eyes, so I’m practically white.