A lot of people don’t like my comedy; a lot of white people don’t like my comedy. A lot of white people say this to me: “Hey Aamer. Hey. You get on stage, you make your jokes about white people. You say, ‘white people this, white people that.’ What if I did something like that? What if I got on stage and was like, ‘Yeah, black people are like this. Muslims are like that.’ You’d probably call me a racist, wouldn’t you?”
And I say, “Yeah, yeah I would. You should never do that. That’s bad for your health.” And they’re like, “Well you do that Aamer! You do that! You get on stage and make your jokes about white people! Don’t you think that’s a kind of racism? Don’t you think that’s…dun dun dun…reverse racism?”
I said, “No. I don’t think that’s reverse racism.” Not because I think reverse racism doesn’t exist! If you ask some black and brown people, they’ll tell you flat out that there is no such thing as reverse racism, and I don’t agree with that.
I think there is such a thing as reverse racism and I could be reverse racist if I wanted to. All I would need would be a time machine. What I’d do is I’d get in my time machine and go back in time to before Europe colonized the world and I’d convince the leaders of Africa, Asia, the Middle East, Central and South America to invade and colonize Europe; just occupy them, steal their land and resources. Set up some kind of, I don’t know, trans-Asian slave trade where we export white people to work on giant rice plantations in China.
Just ruin Europe over a couple of centuries so that all their descendants would want to migrate out and live in the places where black and brown people come from. But of course, in that time, I’ve made sure I’ve set up systems that privilege black and brown people at every conceivable social, political, and economic opportunity so that white people would never have any hope of real self determination.
Just every couple of decades, make up some fake war as an excuse to go an bomb them back to the Stone Age and say it’s for their own good because their culture’s inferior.
Just for kicks, subject white people to colored people’s standards of beauty so they end up hating the color of their own skin, eyes, and hair.
If, after hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years of that, I go out on stage at a comedy show and say, “Hey, what’s the deal with white people? Why can’t they dance?” then that would be reverse racism.
