MAN: If there’s a “Black Entertainment Network,” shouldn’t there be a “White Entertainment Network?”
ANNOUNCER: Do you say sorta racist stuff, but stop short of saying the “N” word? Enjoy the refreshing taste of Diet Racism: the same sweet ignorance of regular racism, but with none of the guilt or self-awareness.
WOMAN: You know, I’m not racist, but I would never date an Asian guy. Blegh.
ANNOUNCER: Diet Racism: because you’re afraid of Blacks and Latinos, but you’d never say that out loud. It’s the perfect beverage for people who don’t directly contribute to oppression, but have strong opinions about how other cultures should handle it.
MAN: Stop and frisk shouldn’t be a problem if you’ve got nothing to hide.
ANNOUNCER: For that busy, on-the-go professional who doesn’t have the strength to admit he’s been given at least a slight advantage by being born white.
MAN: The Irish were persecuted, too, you know.
ANNOUNCER: For the stay-at-home mom who hates affirmative action because she doesn’t remember that Black kids had to be escorted to school by the army.
WOMAN: My kids would have a way easier time getting into college if they were minorities.
ANNOUNCER: Ha ha ha ha! Diet Racism: because you just don’t get it. The official beverage of the Washington Redsk*ns.
MURPH: Hey guys. I’m Murph from College Humor. Click here to subscribe, here to watch more videos, or anywhere else you damn well please. Okay? Don’t let the government tell you where you can and can not click. I’ve got some literature on the subject.