Racial Microaggressions in the Dating Scene: If Black Women Said the Stuff White Men Say

Originally published on BuzzFeed and cross-posted here with their permission.

Dating is already difficult and nerve-wracking for some of us. But throw unaddressed, internalized white supremacy into an interracial romantic dynamic, and things can get really uncomfortable — and borderline violent — really quickly.

This comedic video explores, and makes fun of, some of the more common tropes that many Black women experience while dating White men.

While humor is a valuable way of demonstrating how harmful these comments can be, it’s important to recognize that they stem from a long legacy of racism and misogyny that many Black women have to endure in every part of their life.

So if you belong to the dominant group (in this case, White men) and you realize you have said some of these things and/or don’t understand what the “big deal” is, we ask that you take a moment before you dismiss the feedback you’re getting that these comments are hurtful and are microaggressions.

As  being part of the dominant group, it isn’t your place to decide whether or not this issue matters to the marginalized group (in this case, Black women). It can feel jarring to hear that something that is innocent to you can have heavy consequences, but try to sit in that discomfort in order to unpack the ways in which racism and sexism permeates our everyday lives.

So check out this video and learn how to not let white supremacy contribute to the racial trauma of someone who could potentially be the next love of your life.

Please check out the following Everyday Feminism articles to learn more strategies for keeping racism out of your dating life:

• Say Yes to Decolonial Love: 5 Ways to Resist Oppression in Your Relationships
• How to Talk About Race with Your White Boyfriend
• Yellow Fever: Dating As an Asian Woman
• If Asian Women Hit On White Guys the Way White Guys Hit On Asian Women

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