5 Tips for Being a Proactive Ally

December 9, 2014 / Franchesca Ramsey

Allies are so important to social justice movements, but for some, it’s an intimidating and daunting role to undertake.

How do you know when and where you’re needed? How do you know what lines not to cross, and how do you make amends if, and when, you do cross them?

Fortunately, Franchesca “Chescaleigh” Ramsey provides five insightful, conscientious, and action-oriented tips on how to recognize your privilege and use that privilege be a better ally to communities who experience systemic oppression and injustice.

Click for the Transcript

Chescaleigh: Hey, friends. I’m trying something different with my setup, and I don’t know if it’s working, but you will deal.

Imagine your friend is building a house, and they ask you to help, but you’ve never built a house before. It would probably be a good idea for you to put on some productive gear and listen to the person in charge, otherwise someone is going to get seriously hurt.

“Look, I’m helping.”

It’s the exact same idea when it comes to being an ally. An ally is a person that wants to fight for the equality of a marginalized group that they’re not a part of.

“We need your build help building this house,” but you probably should listen so you know what to do first. Let’s do this.

Here are my five tips for being a good ally.

1. Understand your privilege.
A lot of people get hung on the word privilege, so let me break it down for you nice and easy. Privilege does not mean that you are rich, that you’ve had an easy life, that everything’s been handed to you, and you’ve never had to struggle or work hard.

All it means is that there are some things in life that you will not experience, or ever have to think about, just because of who you are.

It’s kind of like those horses that have those blinders on. They can see just fine. There’s just a whole bunch of stuff on the side that they don’t even know exists.

For example, there are currently 29 states where you can legally be fired for being gay, and there are 34 states where you can legally be fired for being trans.

Now, as a straight cis woman, those are things that I never have to ever think about if I don’t want to. I’m not going to be fired because I’m straight, and I’m not going to be fired because I’m cis, so it makes sense that before I can fight for the rights of others, I have to understand what rights I have and others don’t.

That’s privilege.

2. Listen and do your homework.
It sounds like a no brainer, but it’s not possible for you to learn if you aren’t willing to listen, so you got to know to zip up the lip. I don’t know. You get what it means.

But that’s something that’s so cool about social media. There are so many people sharing their stories all around the world and connecting with people that they normally would never get a chance to without the power of the Internet.

So, do your homework. Start reading, blogs, tweets, news articles, and stories, so that you can get caught up on the issues that are important to the communities that you want to support.

3. Speak up, but not over.
If the fight for equality was a girl group, the ally wouldn’t be the lead singer or the second lead singer. They’d be Michelle [from Destiny’s Child].

An ally’s job is to support. You want to make sure that you use your privilege and your voice to educate others, but make sure to do it in such a way that does not speak over the community members that you’re trying to support or take credit for things that they are already saying.

This isn’t Mario Kart. Stay in your lane.

4. Realize that you’re going to make mistakes, and apologize when you do.
Nobody’s perfect. Unlearning problematic things takes time and work, so you are bound to mess up and trip and fall. But don’t worry, you can brush yourself off and get right back up. I’m back up.

Just remember that it’s not about your intent, it’s about your impact, so when you get called out, make sure to listen, apologize, commit to changing your behavior, and move forward.

5. Last, but certainly not least, actually the most important thing on this list, is to remember that ally is a verb.
Saying you’re an ally is not enough. You got to do the work, one through four, one through four.

As always, there are links in the video description box, some of the things I mentioned in this video, along with some resources that have been really helpful for me as I’ve gone along in my journey to be more conscious.

I want to hear from you in the comments. What are some sights that you suggest checking out, and what are some things that have helped you become a better ally. Let me know in the comments below. Don’t forget to subscribe, and I’ll see you when I see you. Bye.

Please check out the following Everyday Feminism articles for more information on how to be an ally:

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Franchesca “Chescaleigh” Ramsey is a graphic designer and video blogger based out of New York City. With over 100k subscribers on her two YouTube channels, chescaleigh and chescalocs, she and her videos have been featured on numerous style and entertainment blogs and news publications including MTV, The New York Times, Essence.com, and The BBC. In January 2012, Franchesca had her first viral video “Shit White Girls Say…to Black Girls” which accumulated 1.5 million views in 24 hours, 6 million views in a week and over 9 million views to date. Follow her on Twitter @chescaleigh.