Coming out as poly in a monogamous relationship
Two characters: Casey, and their partner Tai. Text not spoken by them will appear in word boxes.
Panel one: A mid-shot of our main character, Casey, smiling.
Text: So, you’ve been thinking a lot and have discovered that you are polyamorous.
Casey: It took a lot of soul-searching but yes, I have!
Panel two: Casey is smiling, hands clasped on their chest.
Casey: I’ve got a big heart!
Text: Polyamory and non-monogamy are relationship structures that include multiple partners who have romantic, physical, and/or emotional connections.
Panel three: Casey is holding onto a framed photo of Tai, their partner.
Text: However, you are already in a monogamous relationship.
Casey: And I love them so much!
Panel four: Casey holding out the photograph, staring at it and looking sad.
Text: Coming out to your partner as poly, especially if you’ve been monogamous, can be difficult, but is not impossible.
Panel Five: Casey is wiping their brow
Text: And transitioning to polyamory does not have to symbolize the end of a relationship!
Text: Being polyamorous can be done ethically! After you’ve figured out what it is you do and don’t want for yourself and your relationship, your next step is to vulnerably and compassionately communicate those desires to your partner. But remember, accepting your polyamorous desires is not permission to:
Panel One: Casey making out with someone while Tai is watching.Text: Just make out with people without talking about it first!
Panel Two: Casey talking to Tai who is frowning
Text: Expect things to progress quickly without time to process and without your partner’s complete consent!
Casey: So now that we talked about it, I’ve got a date planned Saturday!
Panel Three: Casey talking to Tai
Text: Lie about what you’re doing if your partner is uncomfortable!
Casey: I’m going…somewhere…with…someone…
Panel Four: Casey laying in bed next to Tai, Casey is wide away looked stressed out
Text: Don’t put off discussing it! Waiting causes anxiety and adds stress to your relationship.
Panel Five: Casey and Tai eating breakfast.
Text: Do pick a good time and place to approach the subject.
Casey: So I’ve been thinking a lot…
Panel Six: Casey holding Tai’s hand
Text: Reassure them but stand by your needs.
Casey: I love you, but this is something I really need to explore.
Panel One: Tai writing in their journal
Text: Most importantly, allow time for processing, reflections, healing, and learning.
Panel Two: text over a desk showing framed photos of Casey and Tai together.
Text: Remember, our society is compulsively monogamous, we see and hear a lot about monogamous relationships.
Panel Three: text with a corner of a photograph of the couple
Text: While non-monogamy remains invisible or displayed poorly. There’s a lot of negative things people assume about polyamory — like it’s slutty or it’s bound to fail.
Panel Four: Casey talking to Tai
Text: However, with vulnerability, transparent communication, and clear boundaries, they can be successful, exciting, and mutually rewarding.
Casey: That’s what makes this so fun! We make the rules! We can do this in the way that fits us best!
Panel One: Casey with their arms around a sad Tai
Text: Be patient with each other. Like most new things, there will be hiccups and mistakes.
Casey: I didn’t realize that discussing my new date with my friends would bother you.
Tai: It’s okay… I didn’t realize it either!
Text: Rules can be adjusted at any time.
Panel Two: Casey and Tai reading in bed. Casey’s book is The Ethical Guide To Sluts and Tai’s is Re-Defining Your Relationship
Text: Make sure you and your partner are educating yourselves as well.
Panel Three: Casey and Tai holding each other, smiling.
Text: Becoming polyamorous in a previously monogamous relationship is a lot of emotional work for both partners, but with love, open communication, and patience it can lead to a stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationship.